Oh, will nobody believe me when I tell the story
All about the doll my friend acquired?
She's the kind of doll that's made to hook up to a Sony
She can't help it; that's the way she's wired
Oh, doll... (Sharp intake of breath) Doll, Doll...
When I think of all the times that I have tried rejection
Then I see her madness take ahold
And she demonstrates a terrifying predilection
To cave my hapless head in with a pole
Oh, doll... (Breath) Doll, Doll...
She's the kind of doll who gets the door for pretty girls you look a perv
When she's gone the whole night through she calls to say what she thinks you deserve (erve, erve, erve)
Doll... (Breath) Doll, doll...
Was she programmed as a child to try and satisfy you
Even with needs you don't want fulfilled?
Don't be too alarmed at transit vehicles flying by you
It's just malfunction driving her to kill
Oh, doll... (Breath) Doll, doll...
(And so on)