Scene 13: The Knights of L33t
The camera rushes jerkily through the forest, swinging and turning wildly while terrified music play in the background. Shadows flicker uncertainly behind black trees, and hearts beat skittishly as birds cry out eerily, unseen in the thick foliage. Suddenly-!
LARGO 0F L33T:L33t!
KNIGHTS 0F L33T: L33t! L33t! L33t! L33t! L33t!
BG: Who are you?
LARGO: We are the Knights Who Say... 'L33t'!
BG: No! Not the Knights Who Say 'L33t'!
LARGO: The same!
PSIEYE: Who are they?
LARGO: We are the keepers of the sacred words: 'L33t', 'W00t', and 'L33333t-0n3'!
BG: Those who hear them seldom live to think again!
LARGO: The Knights Who Say 'L33t' demand.... a sacrifice!
BG: Knight 0f L33t, we are but simple travellers who seek the enchanter who lives beyond these woods.
K.0.L.: L33t! L33t! L33t! L33t! L33t!...
BG: Ow! Ow! Ow! Agh!
LARGO: We shall say 'l33t' again to you if you do not appease us.
BG: Well, what is it you want?
LARGO: We want... a b33r garden!
BG: A what?
K.0.L.: L33t! L33t! L33t! L33t!
BG and PARTY: Ow! Oh!
BG: Please! Please! No more! We will find you a b33r garden.
LARGO: You must return here with a b33r garden, or else, you will never pass through this wood... alive.
SKORPION: What if they're undead?
HALFELFGAREN: Then we BURN them! Burn the witches!
LAZY-ASS: I hear the undead burn fairly good around this time of year...
LARGO: Silence! We use crossbows!
BG: O Knights 0f L33t, you are just and fair, and we will return with a b33r garden.
LARGO: A fairly old vintage.
BG: Of course.
LARGO: And not too rich!
LARGO: Now... go!