Scene 19: The knights who no longer say 'l33t'
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BG: O Knights of L33t, we have brought you your b33r garden. May we go now?
LARGO: It is a good b33r garden. I like the pints particularly,... but there is one small problem.
BG: What is that?
LARGO: We are now... no longer the Knights Who Say 'L33t'.
KNIGHTS OF L33T: L33t! Shh!
LARGO: Shh! We are now the Knights Who Say 'Bam-bam-bam-pikang-w00t!-BOOM-r0xx0r-j00-0wnzed-LOL'.
RANDOM: L33t!
LARGO: Therefore, we must give you a test.
BG: What is this test, O Knights of-- knights who till recently said 'l33t'?
LARGO: Firstly, you must find... another b33r garden!
[dramatic chord]
BG: Not another b33r garden!
RANDOM: L33t!
LARGO: Then, when you have found the b33r garden, you must place it here beside this b33r garden, only slightly higher so you get the two-level effect with a keg running b33r down a path in the middle.
KNIGHTS WHO TILL RECENTLY SAID L33T: A keg! A k3g! A k3g! L33t! Shh! L33t! L33t! L33t! Shh! Shh!...
LARGO: Then, when you have found the b33r garden, you must boot the slowest b0x in the forest... with... Win2k!
[dramatic chord]
KWTRSL: A Win2k! (L33t!)
BG: We shall do no such thing!
LARGO: Oh, please! It's only a 286!
BG: Run Win2k on a 286? Why, it can't be done!
KWTRSL: Aaaaugh! Aaaugh!
LARGO: Augh! Ohh! Don't say that word.
BG: What word?
LARGO: I cannot say wai, for it is one of the words the Knights of L33t cannot hear!
BG: But you just said why!
KWTRSL: Aaaaugh!
RANDOM: (He did! He did say wai!)
LARGO: You said it again!
BG: What, 'it'?
KWTRSL: Agh! No, not 'it'.
LARGO: No, not 'it'. You wouldn't get vary far in life not saying 'it'. Why, imagine trying to say 'bit' or 'unfit'!"
KWTRSL: No, not 'it'. Not 'it'.
PSIEYE: My liege, it's Sir William!
MINSTREL: [singing]
He is packing it in and packing it up
And sneaking away and buggering up
And chickening out and pissing off home,
Yes, bravely he is throwing in the sponge.
BG: Sir William!
WILLIAM: My liege! Why are you here?
LARGO: Now he's said the word!
BG: Looking for the C00l Thing. Surely you've not given up your quest for it?
MINSTREL: [singing] He is sneaking away and buggering up--
WILLIAM: [beating] Shut up, shut up! Why won't you just shut up?! [to BG] No, no. No. Far from it.
LARGO: He said the word again!
KWTRSL: Aaaaugh!
WILLIAM: Why, I was looking for it right here!
KWTRSL: Aaaaugh!
WILLIAM: Uh, here-- here in this forest.
BG: No, it is far from this place. We were just trying to find out where, and nobody will tell us, or why.
KWTRSL: Aaaaugh!
LARGO: Aaaaugh! Stop saying the word! The word...
BG: Oh, stop it!
LARGO: ...we cannot hear! Ow! He said wai again!
BG: Patsy!
LARGO: Wait! I said it! I said wai!
[King BG leaves with his knights]
Ooh! I said it again! Why? And there again! That's three 'wai's! Ohh!
KWTRSL: Aaaaugh!...
