You Selfish Freaks
Apologies to Mitch Leigh and Joe Darion
Filk by NightStrife

[The Prison]

[spoken]

LAGRANDE:
Do you now see how those who are not
L33t do not have the same perspective
As those who are?
Junpei saw a "Marketing Agency," but
I an "Arena." For now, you can assume
What Junpei saw was "correct" if you wish.

A Marketing Agency. With its personable
Director, and more sarcastic Assistant.
And, of course, Fanboys and Otaku, as well
As the Seiyuus and Clients of the agency.
With one Idol in particular...
[Room clears except for FANBOYS]

[The Agency]

[singing]

FANBOYS:
Pics! Swag! The Idol! The Idol!
We come to see, we come to see,
We have come to see the Idol!

[Entering other side of room]
ERIKA:
One set of eyes, the same expression,
They don't see who I want to be.
They will not forfeit their obsession,
Those selfish freaks! Let me be free!

One thing I've learned: that when they get here,
None can seem to hear what I plea.
They fake compassion when they come near.
Those selfish freaks! Let me be free!

[FANBOYS reach her]
So, why do you keep stalking me?
I do not want your attention.
But you all will not let me be,
Can you not see your aggression?

One set of eyes, the same expression,
You don't see who I want to be.
You will not forfeit your obsession,
You selfish freaks! Let me be free!

One thing I've learned: that when you get here,
You can't seem to hear what I plea.
You fake compassion when you come near.
You selfish freaks! Let me be free!

You should not get too close to me,
Unless you want to come to harm.
And I don't suffer being touched,
So if I must, I'll break your arm.

I do not want to be your idol,
I do not like this kind of life,
But I am me, I am a seiyuu.
And I will sing, not be your wife!

[FANBOY shoves a picture into ERIKA's hand]
FANBOY:
Sign it!

ERIKA [crumpling picture]:
One set of eyes, the same expression,
You selfish freaks! Let me be free!

[ERIKA runs out]

FANBOY1 [jeeringly]:
Giving up your limited edition
Gallery photo?

FANBOY2:
She'll sign it, and give it back!

FANBOY3:
Yeah, she'll sign it - with a shredder!

[pushing and shoving ensues]

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