I had this one planned for some time now. Like the "Bomb Dom" filk from Lukkai, this is not so much a filk, but an adaption. Of one of Gollum's monologues, that is. However, before we start, there are four things to be taken care of:

1. My deepest respect and apologies to J.R.R. Tolkien. May he never be forgotten.
2. This filk is not meant to criticize anyone over anything.
3. C&C is alway welcome.
4. Similarities to persons either living or dead are entirely their fault.

Forum's monologue

We wants it. We needs it. Must have the quality. They removed it. Sneaky little Fredart Studios. The continuity. The physics. False!

No. Not Fred.

Yes, precious. False! He will cheat, contrive, fabricate!

Fred's my friend.

You don't have any friends. Nobody likes you.

Not listening. I'm not listening.

You're a n00b. And a spammer.



(sobs) Go away.

Go away? (laughs)

I hate you. I hate you.

Where would you be without me? Forum. Forum. I saved the quality. The quality survived because of me.

Not anymore.

What did you say?

Sarah looks after Fred now. We don't need you.


Leave now and never come back.


Leave now and never come back.


Leave now and never come back!

A said no and I meant no!

Jeeze, why does this only work in the stories?

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