I'm trying to get back into the filking of "Man of la Mancha", so I started with a bit of exposition in-between songs. So, there's no actual filk here, but it's related to the others I've done (so I don't know how to classify it). This is the earliest piece so far - it fits right before "You Selfish Freaks" - but I have a little more before it left to do.

Anyway, the windmill scene is too fun to leave out, so that's what this used to be. Hope you like it!

-----

The Crossplayer Scene
Parody of "Man of la Mancha"
Fic by NightStrife

LARGO:
What do you think of our quest?

JUNPEI:
Junpei feel l33t.

LARGO:
Yes, but there is still much ahead of us.
We have yet to face the level 1 boss, and
These enemies are still mere cannon fodder.
Just wait, and we will be tasked with the
Destruction of abominations beyond imagination,
Twisted experiments of soulless dictators,
And creatures not of this world!

JUNPEI:
Junpei think L33t-M4ster be careful then.

LARGO:
There is no need to worry about the standard enemies,
For they are easily defeated by those who are l33t.
No, worry only about the one who leads them,
Who binds them to his dark will and plays them as games.

JUNPEI:
Junpei know of no one like that.

LARGO:
It is the 3v1l 0n3! Ph34r him, Junpei,
For his power is great, and his soul
Irredeemable! Those under his influence
Are but zombies, and where ever he travels
The land is turned to dust!

But one day, we will meet, and I will
Prove my skillz by destroying him!

JUNPEI:
Of course, L33t-M4ster.

LARGO [looking offstage]:
How long since we began our quest?

JUNPEI:
Few minutes.

LARGO:
So soon do we face a boss!

JUNPEI:
Where L33t-M4ster see boss?

LARGO:
There, in the distance!
It is that dread demonic idol
By the name of Moekoridal!
You can tell it is he by the rotting
Flesh billowing around his legs!

JUNPEI:
Is crossplayer.

LARGO:
Lay on, Hell Spawn,
And damned be he who first tries for respawn!

[LARGO runs off]

JUNPEI:
L33t-M4ster!

[Squeaking sounds, sword reenters]

LARGO [offstage]:
My eyes, burning!

[More squeaking]

[LARGO crawls back onstage]

JUNPEI:
Did Junpei not tell L33t-M4ster
That was crossplayer?

LARGO:
It was the work of the 3v1l 0n3!
At the last moment he revealed the demon
As a hideous freak in drag.

But wait! I know why the 3v1l was able
To confuse my senses!
I have not been properly dubbed 'L33t'!

JUNPEI:
But Junpei call you L33t-M4ster.

LARGO:
It may only be properly done by one who is L33t.

JUNPEI:
Junpei never see one more L33t than M4ster.

LARGO:
An arena champion would do, or a GM.

JUNPEI:
Junpei tell L33t-M4ster of any visible champions.

[LARGO and JUNPEI set off again]

LARGO:
Ah! That is the perfect place!

JUNPEI:
What L33t-M4ster see?

LARGO:
Off by that hill, a great arena!

JUNPEI:
Arena?

LARGO:
Yes, surrounded by the byproducts of destruction
Undoubtedly released by the inhabitants.
I can also see the arena's standard:
A padlock, with the number three in superscript above,
And underneath the inscription - "Mondays-Fridays 9am-4pm".
The champion there must be very l33t.

JUNPEI:
Junpei not see arena, but Junpei see building.
Look like Marketing Agency.

LARGO [glaring at JUNPEI]:
We will go straight to the arena, and make our bid.

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