Oh, boy, was this complicated to write. Taken from "I Hope That Something Better Comes Along" from The Muppet Movie. Yeah, yeah, I'm desperate for material...Original lyrics follow the filk.
I Hope That Someone L33ter Comes Along

[Scene: Anna Miller's Bar]

Nanasawa: Good evening. Would you like something to drink?
Yanagisawa: Yeah. Anything but coffee, please.
Nanasawa: Hey, what exactly do you mean by that?
Yanagisawa: Erika said you have trouble...
Nanasawa: Oh...More than she knows. Saké then, sir?
Yanagisawa: You want one? Sit down, I'll buy.

Yanagisawa: Let me guess. Guy trouble, right?
Nanasawa: Heh? How'd you know?
Yanagisawa: Look, when you've been running a store as long as I have, you've read a face for every earthquake, a life for every traffic jam.
Nanasawa: I don't know how to approach this guy.
Yanagisawa: Ah, pitiful. That's why I stay single.
Nanasawa: You mean you're...
Yanagisawa: I'm what? I lock up shop, I go home, surf the web, have a couple of beers, smoke a few on the roof and go to bed.
Nanasawa: That's too simple.
Yanagisawa: You'd rather deal with people? I try not to.
Nanasawa: But I can't.
Yanagisawa: Neither can I. That's the trouble.

Yanagisawa: You can't live with them, you can't live without them
Nanasawa: There's something stupidly attractive about them
Yanagisawa: You try to fix it but you're always wrong,
Nanasawa: I hope that someone sweeter comes along.

[Cut to Largo, Ping, & Piro in Apartment]
Ping: His firewall's mean...
Largo: It's no good complaining and pointless to wonder
A hoard of 3vil has motives too odd to sunder
I hope this garbage doesn't last too long...
I hope that someone l33ter comes along

[Cut back to Bar]
Yanagisawa: Ah, and what could be finer than a dim and dingy diner,
When you been depressed too long?
Nanasawa: 'Cause an empty apartment, with a metal escarpment
Gets lonely too fast, and the feeling tends to last.

[Cut to Apartment]
Piro: Largo, it's on fire again
Largo: Oh, no! On three, spray...

[Cut to Bar]
Yanagisawa: I don't mean to scare you but I just don't get
What it is that Erika would love to forget
Nanasawa: I would have told you, but the drink's too strong
I hope some weaker liquor comes along.

Nanasawa: Still, it's sad when they're so shy
Make you think they would rather die
Than say one friendly word to you
I don't understand it; I can't reprimand it,
Yanagisawa: The fellow's passion is moot
He can't speak 'cause you're so cute

[Cut to Apartment]
Piro: Largo, it didn't go out yet.
Largo: Coolant failure! We need more!

[Cut to Bar]
Nanasawa: I don't understand why he can't understand me
Yanagisawa: She never smiles at all, I think that it's freaky...
It makes me wonder what the girl did wrong...
I hope that someone sweeter
[Cut to Apartment]
Largo: I hope that someone l33ter
[Cut back to bar, where Erika is sitting back-to-back with
Yanagisawa, unbeknownst to him...]
Erika: I hope that someone l33ter comes along...

Never knew a guy that wierd could ever care that bad...
Elapsed Time: 35 Mins.
I Hope That Something Better Comes Along - The Muppet Movie

Rowlf: Evenin'...you look like you could use a drink.
Kermit: Yeah, I'd like a grasshopper please.
Rowlf: Hey, can we have a grasshopper for the frog?
Kermit: Uh, that's, that's Kermit...Kermit the Frog.
Rowlf: Oh...Rowlf, Rowlf the dog here. Pleased to meet ya.
I'm no Heifetz, but I get by.

(plays piano)

Rowlf: Let me guess. Broken heart, right?
Kermit: Huh, does it show?
Rowlf: Listen, when you've been tickling the ivories as long as I have,
You've seen a broken heart for every drop of rain
A shattered dream for every falling star
Kermit: Exactly. She just walked out on me
Rowlf: Ah, typical. That's why I live alone.
Kermit: You do, huh?
Rowlf: You bet. I finish work, I go home, read a book, have a couple of beers, take myself for a walk and go to bed.
Kermit: Nice and simple
Rowlf: Stay away from women; that's my motto
Kermit: But I can't
Rowlf: Neither can I. That's my trouble.

Rowlf: You can't live with 'em, you can't live without 'em.
There's somethin' irresistabullish about 'em.
We grin and bear it 'cause the nights are long.
I hope that somethin' better comes along.

Kermit: I see what you mean.
It's no good complainin' and pointless to holler.
Rowlf: If she's a beauty she'll get under your collar.
Kermit: She made a monkey out of old King Kong,
Both: I hope that somethin' better comes along.

Rowlf: Ah, but what could be better than a saucy Irish setter
When puppy love comes on strong?
Or a collie that's classy, a laddie needs a lassie,
A lover and wife gives you a new leash on life.

Kermit: Uh, Uh, was that a new /leash/ on life?
Rowlf: Oh. Sorry 'bout that. 2, 3, 4

Kermit: I don't mean to scare ya, my friend, but I betcha
Come "Father's Day", the litter bug's gonna getcha;
Rowlf: The urge is righteous, but the face is wrong.
I hope that somethin' better comes along.

Kermit: Still, it's fun when they're fetching,
And agree to see an etching
That you keep at your lily pad.
There is no solution, it's part of evolution,
Rowlf: The pitter-patter of soles,
The little feet of tadpoles.

Kermit: Ah, Rowlf, tadpoles don't have feet!
Rowlf: Oh. Sorry about that.... 2, 3, 4

Kermit: There's no limitation to mixin' and matchin'
Rowlf: Some get an itchin' for a critter they've been scratchin'.
A skunk was badgered the results were strong.
I hope that somethin' better,
Both: I hope that somethin' better,
I hope that somethin' better comes along.

Rowlf: Not often you see a guy that green got the blues that bad.
Hope you enjoyed it!
Edit: Somehow in the writing, Yanagisawa became Yamagishi. Where this came from, I don't know. It's fixed now.

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