Did I hear my name and Coleridge used in the same sentence?

Something Churlish. By Mr. Natural

O, were I not afraid you'd think
Of me as hairless leathery turd,
I'd post, "I love you, dear;
But O, these lines of verse! they stink,
My love, I fear."

But I'll resort to subterfuge
And keep such counsel from thy sight,
With flattery's disguise
("That doesn't make your butt look huge,"
And suchlike lies).

On my P.C., I'll hide this jest
So only I shall know the truth.
'Tis time for rest, I've typed enow:
O no! O crap! The button's press'd,
I'm dead meat now...

(Apologies to Samuel Taylor Coleridge)

Something Childish, but Very Natural

If I had but two little wings
And was a little feathery bird,
To you I'd fly, my dear!
But thoughts like these are idle things,
And I stay here.

But in my sleep to you I fly:
I'm always with you in my sleep!
The world is all one's own.
But then one wakes, and where am I?
All, all alone.

Sleep stays not, though a monarch bids:
So I love to wake ere break of day:
For though my sleep be gone,
Yet while 'tis dark, one shuts one's lids,
And still dreams on.

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