Types: Filk, Parody, Humor
Original lyrics follow for those who haven't been hiding under Rock for the past two decades.

You Can't Always Shorten Your Taunt

I saw him today against a dragon
A large weapon in his hand
I knew he would quickly need a flagon
When he smushed like a frying pan
You can't always shorten your taunt
You can't always shorten your taunt
You can't always shorten your taunt
But if you don't, sometimes
you'll find
You soon start to bleed

He went down to the bigger servers
But found he was quickly confused
The enemies were all much stronger
He just didn't know exactly what to use
But you can't always shorten your taunt
You can't always shorten your taunt
You can't always shorten your taunt
But if you don't sometimes, you'll find
Your fingers may bleed

I went down to the local tavern
To get me some fresh-brewed al3
I tried to be fresh with the barmaid
And what I received was quite stale
I decided I'd try to get a refund
Or get some better stuff in its stead
I begged and pleaded with the barmaid
And the next thing I knew, well, I was dead
So I'm tellin' you
You can't always shorten your taunt
You can't always shorten your taunt
You can't always shorten your taunt
And if you don't, sometimes, you just might find
You don't get good mead
You don't get good mead - No way, man

I saw him in front of a dragon
In his hands was a severed head
I took a closer look at that dragon
And realized that that thing, it was dead
He learned how to shorten his taunt
He learned how to shorten his taunt
He learned how to shorten his taunt
And since he finally did, the masses hid
The masses hid!
He'd ne'er again cede

You can't always shorten your taunt
You can't always shorten your taunt
You can't always shorten your taunt
But if you don't, sometimes
You'll prob'ly find
You'll prob'ly find, I tell you...
You'll soon start to bleed
------------------------------------
You Can't Always Get What You Want - Rolling Stones

I saw her today at the reception
A glass of wine in her hand
I knew she was gonna meet her connection
At her feet was a footloose man
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes well you might find
You get what you need
And I went down to the demonstration
To get my fair share of abuse
Singing, we're gonna vent our frustration
If we don't we're gonna blow a 50-amp fuse
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes well you just might find
You get what you need
I went down to the Chelsea drugstore
To get your prescription filled
I was standing in line with Mister Jimmy
And man, did he look pretty ill
We decided that we would have a soda
My favorite flavor, cherry red
I sung my song to Mister Jimmy
Yeah, and he said one word to me, and that was dead
I said to him
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you just might find
You get what you need
You get what you need--yeah, oh baby
I saw her today at the reception
In her glass was a bleeding man
She was practiced at the art of deception
Well I could tell by her blood-stained hands
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you just might find
You just might find
You get what you need
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you just might find
You just might find
You get what you need

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