Last year's total seems to be 27, unless I'm mistaken. Maybe we'll bring the not-penguin back out of hiding again. On with ye show!
You're a Mean One, Mister Ed
Apologies to old man Geisel and any Ed fans out there.
You're a mean one, Mister Ed
For a Sony employee
Pretty face, but ugly inside
And I think Ping would agree, Mister Ed
I've been trying hard, but I can't find your good side
You're a psycho, Mister Ed
And I think I must concede
Though you look nice, that won't counteract the evil of your greed, Mr. Ed
I wouldn't go near you if I were a thirteen foot tall Swede
You've got issues, Mr. Ed
And your KillStick's rather large
It's a wonder that it fit upon that transatlantic barge, Mr. Ed
Given a choice between that and an airplane,
I would have to take the barge!
You're sure fright'ning, Mr. Ed
With a bag over your face
Is that 'cause if folks knew it was you
They'd flee the sad disgrace, Mr. Ed?
If forced at gunpoint to describe you, anywhere, I'd say, truthfully
"Out. Of. Place."
You are ruthless, Mr. Ed
Probably the camper king
With a code of ethics smaller than
A bumblebee's left wing, Mr. Ed
With all that you've been through here, it's odd
that you haven't been deported to a decent psych ward,
but instead are out here trying to
dispose of poor Ping!
You disturb me, Mr. Ed
And I wonder why your boss
Hasn't fired you or had you killed
You're not a talking horse, Mr. Ed
You're the most surreal thing I've seen since coming here
How much'd that face cost?
Original Lyrics © Theodor Seuss Geisel. All Rights Not Mine.
You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch
You really are a heel,
You're as cuddly as a cactus,
you're as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch,
You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel!
You're a monster, Mr. Grinch,
Your hearts an empty hole,
Your brain is full of spiders,
you have garlic in your soul, Mr. Grinch,
I wouldn't touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot Pole!
You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch,
You have termites in your smile,
You have all the tender sweetness
of a seasick crocodile, Mr. Grinch,
Given the choice between the two of you
I'd take the seasick crocodile!
You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch,
You're a nasty wasty skunk,
Your heart is full of unwashed socks,
Your soul is full of gunk
The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote,
"Stink, stank, stunk"!
You're a rotter, Mr. Grinch,
You're the king of sinful sots,
Your hearts a dead tomato splotched
with moldy purple spots, Mr. Grinch,
Your soul is an appalling dump heap
overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment
of deplorable rubbish imaginable
mangled up in tangled up knots!
You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch,
With a nauseous super "naus"!,
You're a crooked jerky jockey
and you drive a crooked hoss, Mr. Grinch,
You're a three decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich
With arsenic sauce!
Meh. I was doing good for a while. I think. Off to find more ideas...
And sorry, but Ed's the closest thing to a villain MT has.
"Three sizes too small? Why three?"