It sucks to be a fanboy,
to be kept up by your dreaming
of hand-sized cutie robots
printing pictures with a pencil,

Oh, it sucks to be a fanboy,
to be kept up by your dreaming
of girls who are gleaming
in their eyes (in their eyes!)

In their eyes they are a-gleaming,
in the screen they all be seeming
oh so real when you're dreaming
of their eyes (of their eyes!).

It sucks to be a fanboy,
seeing snowy girl sadness
'cause watching is a badness
when they cry (when they cry!)

When they cry it is a badness
it's so sad to love their sadness
all the fanboys in their madness
watch them cry (watch them cry!).

Oh, it sucks to be a fanboy
when your idol is protected
by a hacker's pantsless menace
in the night (in the night!)

He'll send a contract ninja
if you ever try to linger
or touch her with a finger
at her shop (at her shop!)

Oh, it sucks to be a fanboy
with those bastards killing Aeris
oh Square did not prepare us
for her death (for her death!)

With her death did Square surprise us,
in that pink dress so desirous
I felt I'd got a virus
when she died (when she died!)

Oh, it sucks to be a fanboy,
checking files at immigration
for a redhead with no nation
to her name (to her name!)

She's supposed to be a German
young and brash, and so determined
lost her mother to her mother
so she hurts (so she hurts!)
Oh, it sucks to be a fanboy
When you follow gaijin losers
And inflated-ego boozers
Trav'ling light (Trav'ling light!).

And make sure they don't get liquored
Or they'll whine and bark and bicker
And get weepy over ch1><0rz
Through the night (through the night!).

Oh, it sucks to be a fanboy
When you love the shoulder-perchers
Who are slaved with skin-thin budgets
On your case (On your case!).

But don't tell the angel lasses
"You look sexy in those glasses"
Or they'll kick your scrawny ass
Around the place (Around the place!).
O I wish I wasn't stuck here in this city
Even though the girls are oh, so pretty
Fanboy land
Lend a hand
Ain't life grand
Old Japan

It sucks to be a fanboy!
Indeed!
Indeed!
I spent my free time on the boards
And found myself unemployed
I stayed
And played
And riled up an android
She's mad
'Twas bad
Yes, it sucks to be a fanboy
Oh it sucks to be a fanboy
Seeing people dressing up like your girl,
leaving your head in a whirl
and a puddle of drool on the floor (on the floor)
'Cuz it sucks to be a fanboy
When you've missed those golden chances,
When they throw those pitying glances
Thought unseen.

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