"Meddle not in the affairs of filkers, for your name sounds funny and scans to Greensleeves." -anonymous

This one's for~check that, about~Draegos. Though, it can also be thought to apply to DWC back in the Fanboy War.

Cute Girl and Psycho Fanboy
A filk of "Straw Hat and Old Dirty Hank"
Apologies to the Barenaked Ladies
By Caduceus-kun

I worship cuteness, and that means you
I blindly follow, support whatever you do
Other fanboys are just pure scum
They don't see your greatness but I'll make them all succumb

[Chorus]
I'm a fanboy
I kill other fans all day
I have to go destroy
Everyone who doesn't see things my way

You cried a tear, you asked me "Why?"
But I'm too busy striking down fools to reply
"I don't like bloodshed! Oh, please desist!"
I tell you "As soon as the truth they don't resist."
It's not important, don't worry 'bout it
I'll be perfectly safe, there's nothing that I can't hit!

[Chorus]

All this blood I spill, I spill it all for you
I've pressed deep into the killing fields, I battle on for you
I see that you're crying
I know that it's for joy
Just wait 'til the others are
Others are destroyed

You know our army grows day by day
They follow your glory, ready to kill and slay
Ignore the gunshots, and please don't fret!
We'll make sure those heretics will never be a threat

[Chorus]

Straw Hat And Old Dirty Hank
Barenaked Ladies

I tend the wheat field that makes your bread
I bind the sweet veal, pluck the hens that make your bed
Mother Nature & Mother Earth
Are two of three women who dictate what I'm worth

[Chorus]
I'm the farmer.
I work in the fields all day
Don't mean to alarm her
But I know it was meant to be this way

You cried a tear, I wiped it dry
I put you up upon a pedestal so high
If you should waiver, if you should sway
I'd catch you, spread my tiny wings and fly away
You signed your picture with an O and X
I bet you don't write "love" each time you sign your cheques

[Chorus]

All of this corn I grow I grow it all for you
I took a hatchet to the radio I did it all for you
You could have written back,
You could have said "thank you"
I guess you've got better things,
Better things to do

You say you love me, is that the truth?
Although they've heard the songs, my friends want living proof
I know your address, I ring the bell
I bring you flowers and a .22 with shells

I'm the farmer
I work in the fields all day
Never wanted to harm her
But I know it was meant to be this way

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