Screwed Agent
(sung to "Blue Christmas")

I'll be a screwed agent without you;
I'll be so screwed failing to scout you.
I bragged to the boss of my big company,
I could charm you into signing up with me.

I'll be a screwed agent, for certain;
I am so bruised, smacked down, and hurtin',
'Cuz that crazed muffin man
Was the ruin of my plans,
And I am a screwed, screwed agent.

(apologies to B.Hayes, J.Johnson )

Blue Christmas
B.Hayes, J.Johnson

I'll have a blue Christmas without you;
I'll be so blue thinking about you.
Decorations of red on a green Christmas tree,
Won't mean a thing if you're not here with me.

I'll have a blue Christmas, that's certain;
And when that blue heartache starts hurting,
You'll be doing all right
With your Christmas of white,
But I'll have a blue, blue Christmas.

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