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Liner Notes by Wavebird_Ocelot:
In the comic world time does not interfere and at the Coming Fanfic spams Le Gato del Gateaux, the Cigarette Lighter, and behind him the three Groupies... Gato, with fur on his ears arguing over students being feline or spelling out awk and that he herself - not Caston - is the leet gallivanter "I am the leet gallivanter!" he posts in bold "Filk? Filk is just the beginning!"... we are singing in this thread for the Asynchronous Band - the Asynchronous Band writes, ownzors, and codes the Writer's Archive - if you do not know where the Writer's Archive is then you should flip over your mouse and committ seppuku with it... the filks on this album (with apologies to Robert) are not so much filks as exercises in visual scansion... you are right codepoetica - Draegos was right - AncestralHamster was right... I cannot write out leet in leetspeak anymore... when I write out leet in leetspeak it is as if I am giving in to another underscore... you are lucky - you don't have to think about such things as fur and awk and Draegos.
Like a New Idol {Like A Rolling Stone}

Once upon a time you felt so primed
To sing out those lines and their rhymes, didn't you?
Erika'd say, "Don't be afraid, if the writer's laid
"Then you can always play any role"
You used to dream about
Winning fame by the seiyuu route
Now you don't sing so loud
Now it don't seem so proud
When you're having to ask roommates for your next meal
How does it feel
How does it feel
To be so extolled
With your future controlled
Like a new idol?

You've landed a breakout role, alright, Miss Skinny
But you'll see you're winning those dumb fanboys
Now you'll learn that they've never had any sense of class
And now you find out that they're gonna stalk you out
You said you'd never meant to burn
Any customer's lap, but your stomach turns
With what your agent thought he learned
And you're teased by that jerk of a director
While about his budget he has squealed
How does it feel
How does it feel
To have upskirts stole
To do just what your told
With your future controlled
Like a new idol?

You should've turned around when you were downtown in a rail-station run-down
And that guy came down and gave a card to you
You never understood that it ain't no good
You shouldn't 'cuse whiny Piro when he's nice to you
You used to ride on the subway with a railcard that
You got from someone named after an anime cat
Ain't it hard when you discover that
He's really no pervert rat
After you've screwed up everything to anneal
How does it feel
How does it feel
To have upskirts stole
To do just what your told
With your future controlled
Like a new idol?

Empress of the gameworlds - and all the dumbass fanboys
They're drinkin', thinkin' that you've got it made
Winning all kinds of trophies, gold, and games
But you're losing your youth and fame, you'd better look around
You used to be so adored
By crossplayers in skirts and the fickle fanboy hordes
Go to them now, they lost you, with you they're bored
Now you got nothing - you got nothing to hoard
You're invisible now, you got no lover for the years
How does it feel
How does it feel
To have been so rolled
With all your friendships stole
With your future controlled
Like an old idol?
Megablues {Tombstone Blues}

The Great Teacher Largo shot par for the course
His dark-ribboned student she's doing her worst
She's taken her minions from the back of a hearse
But Piro won't learn to fear with great ph34r
The ghost of Yokoi he hands down his code
To Nintendo fanboys who log into the node
Fixing a Famicom that never did load
While their Mario scores are getting cleared
Kimi's in the studio - she's a seiyuu
Largo's in the alley - he's lookin' for booze
I'm in the attic with the Megablues

The hysterical fan reading Penny-Arcade
Telling Fred which ones should get laid
Fred calls for the Shirt Guy, whose dream has been made
As he silences this faboyish hentai
Then the rescripters come and they push on good taste
You know they don't want any possible waste
Of plotlines that they could copy-and-paste
I wish we could blame Sabyr or WhiteKnight
Kimi's in the studio - she's a seiyuu
Largo's in the alley - he's lookin' for booze
I'm in the attic with the Megablues

Junpei the ninja he's schooling a fan
He says to his master, who's forming a plan
"Tell me, L33t M4573r, should we slaughter this lamb
"Or let him go stalking the idol?"
The L33t M4573r answers him while a processor fries
Saying, "D34th to all those who would turtle or whine!"
And holding a Wavebird he smiles real wide
Saying, "That doll's no plaything - it's homicidal!"
Kimi's in the studio - she's a seiyuu
Largo's in the alley - he's lookin' for booze
I'm in the attic with the Megablues

The doll of the Empire her best friend to save
Whacked boomsticks with her broomstick to make them behave
Tossed Sony spies through the window and 0wnz0red that knave
Then he ripped open a portal
Sega's agent with a rocket he blows through undead
With the Leetmaster Largo who's fearing no gib
But the lost bookbag has filled some with dread
As Ian looks under some mortars
Kimi's in the studio - she's a seiyuu
Largo's in the alley - he's lookin' for booze
I'm in the attic with the Megablues

The overclocking of processors new in the box
Proves that the student's skillz really do rock
While the cheaters who whine can fin'ly be knocked
Off of the Neverquest servers
Now I wish I could write Largo-san a new song
I've written these verses with the aid of a bong
I know that seemed random, but this filk is too long
All this wordplay makes me nervous
Kimi's in the studio - she's a seiyuu
Largo's in the alley - he's lookin' for booze
I'm on the forum with the Megablues

While Sonoda and Erika once confused their friendship
Some fanboys were feeling a bird had been flipped
The fanboys their idol they will not let slip
To a new job or to real life
Now I wish that art lesson would finally come
That could show my dear Yuki something of fun
That could teach her and show her off for a sum
So her in-comic face-time would be rife
Kimi's in the studio - she's a seiyuu
Largo's in the alley - he's lookin' for booze
I'm in the attic with the Megablues
It Takes a B33r to Pwn, It Takes a Beer to Cry {It Takes a Lot to Laugh...}

Well, I'm singing in a studio, Piro
Don't see the point
Well, I record those lines
With the cheese that they appoint
I know I'll fail to impress this joint
And if I don't make it, my friend I'll disappoint

Don't your voice sound good, Kimi
Singin' out those lines?
Don't you worry 'bout him, Kimi
Talkin' 'bout his games and wine
Why'd you think that I'm handin' cards to girls so fine?
Why does this happen to me time after time?

Now the beergarden is closing
The roomies are filled with hurt
Largo's told him his story
"But you know that I've seen worse
"Well, I see my pal's wasted, buddy, so again I'll play the nurse
"Don't say I never warned you when your mind gets cursed"
Little Dramas {From a Buick 6}

I know this schoolgirl stalker, you know she's just a kid
But his fancy artwork, you know she keeps it hid
She's a middle schooler and her fancy's gettin' shred
Well, if this panel's working, you know it's bound to fix some furrows for our Fred

Well, when the manhole gets opened and he's lost in the catacomb
He scours in those sewers and he finds an evil tome
He runs out the cavern ready to call up Dom and Ed
Well, if this panel's working, you know it's bound to fix some furrows for our Fred

Well, friends don't make her nervous, though they pry too much
They cheer Philweasel and their friend's a nonesuch
They'll chase their best friend tracing ev'ry thread
Well, if this panel's working, you know it's bound to fix some furrows for our Fred

Well, you know I need Kremer's Reader's Guide to follow this plot
All these lengthy panels they tie me up in knots
It seems so confusing, 'cept then - when just like I said
Well, if this panel's working, you know it's bound to fix some furrows for our Fred
Ballad of a Red-Haired Man {Ballad of a Thin Man}

You leap onto the stage
With your trousers in your hand
The crowd's gatherin' around
And they say, "What's with that man?"
Piro tells you stop doffing your pants
But you'll tell them what you think of their con
Because something is 3v1l down here
And you don't know what it is
Do you, Largo-san?

You raise up your head
And you ask, "Am I on a plane?"
But somebody's gasping and they yell, "/\/\4 |>1llz!
"3y3 g07z 50m3 b4d |>41n!"
And the attendant says, "Well, what's this?"
She tells you, "Please refrain,
And don't strangle your friend."
And something is 3v1l up here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Largo-san?

You were sleeping in parks
And you ticked off the doll
Who's wondering what's goin' on here
When you make her bawl
She says, "Hidoi desu!
Your manners appall!"
And you're running for it
As the light-pole comes down
And you know something's 3v1l down here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Largo-san?

You have many Wavebirds
For teaching the school-nerds
Techniques preferred
To 0wnz0r the hoards in the arcade
But nobody has any respect
Anyway they already expect you
To just give a check
To Linux-using shareware organizations
You've been with the leetmasters
And they've all liked your hacks
With great coders you have
Discussed campers and Macs
You've been through all of
Kao Megura's FAQs
You're very well read it's well known
But something is 3v1l 'round here
And you don't know what it is
Do you, Largo-san?

Well, the gothic raver, she comes up to you
And then she smiles
She whispers to you
And then moves down the aisles
And upon further study
You discover her style
And she says, "Here is your game back
"See my hellspawn!"
And you're positive something's 3v1l down here
And you've got to find out what it is
Don't you, Largo-san?

Now you meet this winged rodent
Saying his name's "Boo"
And you say, "What do you want?
"Maybe some booze?"
And he's squeakin' and squerkin'
And you say, "Rock on, little dude!"
As he wonders what this guy's on
Because something is 3v1l down here
And you don't know what it is
Do you, Largo-san?

Well, you walk into the Cave
Leaving your hamster at the door
You stand by the barstool
Facing off the abhorred
You ought to be deported
From Japan forevermore
You should be made
To disband your clan
Because something is 3v1l down here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Largo-san?
Ping-chan Approximately {Queen Jane Approximately}

When your user sends back all your invitations
And his friend's paranoia began
And you're finding some raving as a temptation
Won't you come see me, Ping-chan? Won't you come see me, Ping-chan?

Now when all the Sony coders want back what they have lent you
And their hardware is all that remains
And all your classmates start to resent you
Won't you come see me, Ping-chan? Won't you come see me, Ping-chan?

Now when all the games that you have been playing
Are all reset or foregone
And your memory seems to be fraying
Won't you come see me, Ping-chan? Won't you come see me, Ping-chan?

When that red-headed fool makes those faces
And he's sure that you're some sort of demon
You try to throw his innards to all sorts of places
Won't you come see me, Ping-chan? Won't you come see me, Ping-chan?

Now when the owner whose attention you asked for
Only mopes 'bout Kimiko and complains
And you want somebody you don't have to beg for
Won't you come see me, Ping-chan? Won't you come see me, Ping-chan?
Comic x1 Revisited {Highway 61 Revisited}

The E3 man said to Largo, "Staff only."
Largo says, "Man, you gotta be kiddin' me!"
Piro say, "Hey." Largo say, "What?"
Piro say, "We can try to sneak in, but
"Don't do something stupid or we'll have to run."
Well, Fred says, "Where you want this reject done?"
Rod says, "Let's make this strip number one."

Well Gallagher he had a runny nose
And Rodney was too busy lookin' for booze
He asked poor Shirt Guy, "Can a Dom strip go?"
Shirt Guy said, "There's only one way I know."
Rod said, "Draw it quick Dom, it's time to run."
Ol' Dom just drew with his trackball,
And Shirt Guy was unleashed on strip thirty-one.

Well, the l33tm45t3r said to Dom and Ed,
"We're in Tokyo with credit cards red,
And Japan ain't a good place to be stranded.
Could you send cash for me and my cool thing?"
And Dom and Ed said, "Let me think for a minute, man."
And they said, "Well, if you put it that way it can be done.
Just don't spend it all down in strip number forty-one."

Now Largovision in the twelfth month
Told Pirovision that things weren't right
The strip's aura, he said, is much too white
Piro said bring the comic into the light. He says you're not right!
If anything, more drama is what should be done
But the Naze-Nani Erika thought them both dumb
And knocked them both out in comic fifty-one.

Now the rantin' forums, they were very bored.
They were tryin' to create a fanboy war.
They found a strip that made them nearly fall on the floor,
They said "We never thought about this kind of thing before,
"But drama is not something that should be done.
"This is bad as seein' the sun,
"We'll leave 'cause of strip number sixty-one."
Just Like a Hamster's Blues {Just Like Tom Thumb's Blues}

"When you're lost in the snow in Tokyo, and it's Christmastime too
"And your client thinks of nothing but l33t, porno, and booze
"Just don't think your looks alone can change his attitude
"He's got some mad skills but you got to teach him how to lose"

If you see Seraphim, please tell her thanks a lot
This guy's a loon, he found a necrowombicon
He's camping the sewer with an army of ph34rbots
And his new student the ninja thinks these skills are hot

Spooky Tohya, the client calls her the goddess of ghouls
She speaks good English, and makes him look like a fool
He ran so scared, then returned to knock out her tools
He says she'll eat your brains and leave them in a pool

Out at Shiritsu Daitou High, classes come to learn
My client gives them skills to save them from getting burned
"If you're lookin' to fight 3vil, you'd better start to discern,
"Because the cops here have no skills and only end up served."

Though he's arrested, he could break out of jail
With the ninja and Rent-a-Zilla we needed no bail
We were knocking over buildings with a swipe of its tail
I want an easy job, 'cause it looks like I failed

The spooky girl, she collapsed inside the bath
We ran out, thinking he'd have to kick some 4ss
But when we got to the scene, it looked like a big laugh
I think I helped out today - he picked her off the path
MegaGamer's Row {Desolation Row}

Fred's selling posters of Piroko
He's colored his dead-days now
The Story Forum's filled with 'shippers
See them having rows
Here comes a wannabe Vagrant
Mike's got him in a trance -
One hand is tied to the optical mouse
The other is in his pants
And the fanboys - they're restless
They need somewhere to troll
As Yuki and I look out tonight
From MegaGamers Row

The Sony doll, she seems so easy
"So you really are one," she smiles
And tries to point with a sixth finger
Hayasaka style
And in comes the Sony man, he claims
"These lines ought to work, I believe."
Erika says,"You're not welcome, my friend -
You'd better leave."
And the only sound that's left
After all the bad men go
Is the Sony doll sweeping up
In MegaGamers Row

You know 3v1l's always hidden
But he's still leaving Boo outside
The ravers and the goths
Are getting ready for the Cave inside
Tonight they'll host Ping and Piro
And the teacher of L33tn355
Kimiko's moping around
Her champaigne was sweetness
And the young Sonoda, she's dressing
She's getting ready for the show
She's going to the Cave tonight
By MegaGamers Row

Now little Ping, she's 'neath the window
For her I feel so afraid -
On her two-month birthday
She already needs an update
To her, geeks are quite romantic
She has just one request
Gaming is her religion -
Her sin is her lifelessness
And though her eyes are swelled up like
A sad girl's in the snow
She spends her time toppling shelves
In MegaGamers Row

An agent, cosplaying Shinobi
With his memories in Black Ops
Passed this way an hour ago
With his friend, a Sony "cop"
His thoughts - so immaculately frightful
As he penned a Shirt Guy strip
Then he went off for his alter-ego
And reciting his lines in-strip
Now you would not think, to look at him
But he was stalked not long ago
By one of our moderators
Through MegaGamers Row

The Head Ninja compares his world
To the growing whitecup
But one of the union men
Is trying to fsck it up
Now his m4st3r, some foreign nut
He's in charge of the English class
And he also knows a d00d that helps
"|-|1|\/| 2 |<1c|< 50/\/\3 455."
They all play on arcade machines
You can hear them blow
If you lean your head out far enough
From MegaGamers Row

Across the street Largo's trained his classroom
For the horror to be released
The Zombie Queen and Ping
A perfect image of two beasts
She's chosen Super Moe-Ball
But he still feels very assured
But she'll kill him with self-confidence
After poisoning him with words
And their classmates shouting to the goth girls
"Get outa here if you don't know -
"Largo-sensei is just being punished for going
"To MegaGamers Row."

Now at midnight all the agents
With the Tokyo Police crew
Come out and round up everyone
That works different than they do
Then they bring them to the office
Where the zombie horde schedule
Is planned so far in advance.
And then the MK visa'd
Are brought down from the airports
By customs men who go
Check to see that nobody is escaping
To MegaGamers Row

Praise be to the Story forum
The fanficcers post at dawn
And the shippers are all shouting
"Which side are you on?"
As outsiders and some reg'lars
Toss pies in a flamebait thread
While one filker laughs at them
And dumb questions are retread
Flaming the mods of the forum
Where lovely fanart glows
And everybody thinks too much
About MegaGamers Row

Yes, I noticed the guest strip yesterday
(About the time the forum broke)
When you asked me how I liked it
Was that some kind of joke?
All these artists that you follow
Yes, I know them, they're quite lame
I photoshopped all their faces
And gave them all rude nicknames
Right now, my bandwidth's sapped
Don't send me no more comics, no
Unless, of course, they're telling
Of MegaGamers Row.

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