Ballad of a Red-Haired Man {Ballad of a Thin Man}

You leap onto the stage
With your trousers in your hand
The crowd's gatherin' around
And they say, "What's with that man?"
Piro tells you stop doffing your pants
But you'll tell them what you think of their con
Because something is 3v1l down here
And you don't know what it is
Do you, Largo-san?

You raise up your head
And you ask, "Am I on a plane?"
But somebody's gasping and they yell, "/\/\4 |>1llz!
"3y3 g07z 50m3 b4d |>41n!"
And the attendant says, "Well, what's this?"
She tells you, "Please refrain,
And don't strangle your friend."
And something is 3v1l up here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Largo-san?

You were sleeping in parks
And you ticked off the doll
Who's wondering what's goin' on here
When you make her bawl
She says, "Hidoi desu!
Your manners appall!"
And you're running for it
As the light-pole comes down
And you know something's 3v1l down here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Largo-san?

You have many Wavebirds
For teaching the school-nerds
Techniques preferred
To 0wnz0r the hoards in the arcade
But nobody has any respect
Anyway they already expect you
To just give a check
To Linux-using shareware organizations
You've been with the leetmasters
And they've all liked your hacks
With great coders you have
Discussed campers and Macs
You've been through all of
Kao Megura's FAQs
You're very well read it's well known
But something is 3v1l 'round here
And you don't know what it is
Do you, Largo-san?

Well, the gothic raver, she comes up to you
And then she smiles
She whispers to you
And then moves down the aisles
And upon further study
You discover her style
And she says, "Here is your game back
"See my hellspawn!"
And you're positive something's 3v1l down here
And you've got to find out what it is
Don't you, Largo-san?

Now you meet this winged rodent
Saying his name's "Boo"
And you say, "What do you want?
"Maybe some booze?"
And he's squeakin' and squerkin'
And you say, "Rock on, little dude!"
As he wonders what this guy's on
Because something is 3v1l down here
And you don't know what it is
Do you, Largo-san?

Well, you walk into the Cave
Leaving your hamster at the door
You stand by the barstool
Facing off the abhorred
You ought to be deported
From Japan forevermore
You should be made
To disband your clan
Because something is 3v1l down here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Largo-san?

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