Just Like a Hamster's Blues {Just Like Tom Thumb's Blues}

"When you're lost in the snow in Tokyo, and it's Christmastime too
"And your client thinks of nothing but l33t, porno, and booze
"Just don't think your looks alone can change his attitude
"He's got some mad skills but you got to teach him how to lose"

If you see Seraphim, please tell her thanks a lot
This guy's a loon, he found a necrowombicon
He's camping the sewer with an army of ph34rbots
And his new student the ninja thinks these skills are hot

Spooky Tohya, the client calls her the goddess of ghouls
She speaks good English, and makes him look like a fool
He ran so scared, then returned to knock out her tools
He says she'll eat your brains and leave them in a pool

Out at Shiritsu Daitou High, classes come to learn
My client gives them skills to save them from getting burned
"If you're lookin' to fight 3vil, you'd better start to discern,
"Because the cops here have no skills and only end up served."

Though he's arrested, he could break out of jail
With the ninja and Rent-a-Zilla we needed no bail
We were knocking over buildings with a swipe of its tail
I want an easy job, 'cause it looks like I failed

The spooky girl, she collapsed inside the bath
We ran out, thinking he'd have to kick some 4ss
But when we got to the scene, it looked like a big laugh
I think I helped out today - he picked her off the path

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