The Gamer
No apologies of any kind to Kenny Rogers. It's too addictive a song.

In a cool arcade basement in the middle of the city
I met up with the gamer, both his eyes were shot with blood
And I tried to defeat him at a game of Super Mo-mo,
But I failed despite the fact that the joysticks were filled with crud

He said "d00d, don't try to clean 'em. Public machines are all diff'rent
And if you can't roll with stuck sticks, then you don't deserve to play.
Either way, I like your spirit, and to thank you for the time spent,
You provided me a challenge, so I'll train you some today.

So I put in four more quarters, and I watched the way his hands moved,
And I saw his eyes glaze over in the arcade console's light
And he beat his first place record, and he turned to me and told me
"If you're gonna learn to game, d00d, then you had better learn it right.

[Chorus:]
You got to know when to own 'em, know when to pwn them,
Know when to throw grenades, know when to gun
Don't you ever check the score card when you're in the midst of action
There's plenty of time for taunting when the fragging's done

Now, ev'ry gamer knows there are games at which he's best at,
And the ones at which he's no good are the ones best left unbought
'cause some games feel quite natural, but some others are like Mosh Mosh
So please practice those in secret so your lameness won't get caught"

And when he'd finished gaming, he stepped back from the upright
Rummaged in his pockets, and he went to get more change
But I got out of there quickly 'cause he smelled a little fragrant
And I still can hear him talking even though he was so strange

[Chorus 2x]
------------------
Original Lyrics

On a warm summers evenin on a train bound for nowhere,
I met up with the gambler; we were both too tired to sleep.
So we took turns a starin' out the window at the darkness
til boredom overtook us, and he began to speak.

He said, "Son, I've made a life out of readin peoples faces,
And knowin' what their cards were by the way they held their eyes.
So if you don't mind my sayin, I can see you're out of aces.
For a taste of your whiskey I'll give you some advice.

So I handed him my bottle and he drank down my last swallow.
Then he bummed a cigarette and asked me for a light.
And the night got deathly quiet, and his face lost all expression.
Said, if you're gonna play the game, boy, ya gotta learn to play it right.

[Chorus]
You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You never count your money when you're sittin' at the table.
There'll be time enough for countin' when the dealin's done.

Now ev'ry gambler knows that the secret to survivin'
Is knowin' what to throw away and knowing what to keep.
cause ev'ry hands a winner and ev'ry hands a loser,
And the best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep.

So when hed finished speakin', he turned back towards the window,
Crushed out his cigarette and faded off to sleep.
And somewhere in the darkness the gambler, he broke even.
But in his final words I found an ace that I could keep.

[Chorus 2x]
-------------------
-Mad Word

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