Scene II: Main Riff

The 1-Yen Arcade is already a madhouse when the four bandmates arrive, and "Loser in the End" can be heard vaguely in the background. As they run up to the door at full speed, Junko stands waiting and hurrying people inside. A little over twenty students are present, along with Junpei and L33t D00d, MegaLondon's members among the last to arrive. More are supposed to assemble, but the doors slam closed and lock, seemingly on their own. Largo, with Boo on his shoulder, quickly surveys his surroundings. The arcade appears empty besides his class, the doors are sealed, so he sends a few students out into the arcade to reconnoiteur.

They haven't gone far, however, when a voice is heard over the speakers - "Welcome to the field.... of battle!" Suddenly, the lights go out, there is a yell of "Aah~!", and "Ogre Battle" starts playing. The only light comes from the arcade machines, which are lighting up at one moment sporadically and then in patterns reflecting the beat of the song. Largo and company try to recover the scouts, but can't find them in the chaotic lighting.

Now once upon a time - an old man told me a fable
When the piper is gone - and the soup is cold on your table
And if the black crow flies to find a new destination
That is the sign
Come tonight
Come to the ogre sight
Come to the ogre-battle-fight!


As the first verse ends, Largo's class is getting seperated, so Junko starts shouting, trying to get everyone to follow her voice. Hideo and a friend, Eiji, are among those lost, and are typical of what's happening to the class. Both feel disoriented and somewhat nauseous due to the light show. Even worse, they occasionally feel someone brush them, but couldn't see from where. They could scarecly hear Junko's voice over the ruckus, and after a moment Hideo heard a gasp, and turned to find his comrade gone.

He gives a great big cry and he can swallow up the ocean
With a mighty tongue he catches flies - the palm of a hand incredible size
One great big eye - has a focus in your direction
Now the battle is on
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Come tonight
Come to the ogre sight
Come to the ogre-battle-fight!


At this point, Junko and Largo have managed to round up everyone they could - their numbers have dwindled down to exactly twenty, and they are disorganized, but they are mostly secure now. In a desperate attempt to fight back, Junko has them sing along, but try to do so louder than their opponents.

The ogre-men are still inside
The two-way mirror mountain
You gotta keep down right out of sight
You can't see in, but they can see out
"Ooh keep a look out"
The ogre-men are coming out
From the two-way mirror mountain
They're running up behind and they're coming all about
Can't go east 'cause you gotta go south

During the instrumental, Largo and Junko try organizing the troops. They are pressed against a side wall about halfway between the front door and the rear of the building. A scream could be heard piercing through the blazing guitar solo, followed by another longer one close by. Largo and Hideo run out in front to watch their foes and yell out what taunts they could. Meanwhile, the instrumental is nearing its end, so that a few classmates could yell out the final verse with much gusto.

Ogre-men are going home
The great big fight is over
Bugle blow, let trumpet cry
Ogre battle lives for evermore - oh~oh~oh~!
You can come along
You can come along
Come to ogre battle!


During the final instrumental portion, a few students run to the door, but find that it is still too secure to budge. Several of Tohya's minions appear, all in gothic attire. The darkness prevents an accurate count of their number, but Largo is certainly outmanned. Largo sees that several of his pupils are visibly shaken, and realizes that his forces cannot withstand a second round of such mind games before they bail. Thus, the song has barely ended and the English class not even fully ready when Junko strikes up a variation of "The Fairy Feller's Master-Stroke."

He's a HaxorMaster~


As the opening line fades, Shigeru and a female student take lead vocals as the students behind him shuffle about.

The Engrish class have gathered under arcade lights
To see the Master bring a chick down from her heights
To quarter-turn he swears, as it rounds he dares
To deliver...
The master-stroke


The procession is still uneasy as the lines of pupils sway back and forth, and a few bump into each other, disrupting the beat. Nonetheless, some gain confidence, and their foes can do little as they segue into a multi-layered verse.

[All Class] Gaming, "Anime Fans", cliches
Inspector with Eva-mechanical ways - he's a dilly-dally-o
[Junko] Pedagogue squinting, wears a frown
And a pedo peers under lady's gown
[Yuuji N.] Dirty fellow - what a dirty laddio
[All Class] Rooting for the horde with a junketer
There's a thief and a dragonfly trumpeter
[Yuuji N.] He's my hero
[Girls] A~ah!

At this point, the class is finally showing good coordination. With new confidence, a couple lines consisting of a half-dozen students each try to flank the ravers, twirling like so many pinwheels with varying amounts of grace and singing as they move.

[All Class] Fairy dandy tickling the fancy of his lady friend
[Shigeru] The nymph in yellow
[Female students] "Can we see the master-stroke?"
[S] What a quaere fellow

Unfortunately, they are cut off at every intersection, and return to the main body of students. They begin the final verse with a special flourish and enthusiasm.

[All Class] Soldier, sailor, tinker, tailor, ploughboy
Waiting to hear the sound
[Boys] And the arch-magician presides - he is the leader
[Half of class, mixed] Oberon and Titania watched by the harridan
[Other half] Mab is the Queen and there's a good apothecary-man
[Gunpei] Come to say hello
[Shigeru] Fairy dandy tickling the fancy of his lady friend
[L33t D00d] The nymph in yellow
[Hideo] What a quaere fellow
[All Class] The ostler stands with hands on his knees
Come on Mr. Hacker, crack it open if you please!

As the class's song ends, the piano tune of "Nevermore" starts unexpectedly, and from out of the shadows leaps a somewhat tall but thin man wearing a cat-ear hat. He sings:

So quickly my thread starts to age
The verse is growing short and the fans stopped posting
Please write a post, though it's late
Can't you read?
Write about my lines
Compliment my rhymes
Don't drop me down the pit of second pa~age

Even the rescripting threads
Where the lame and the crude are so loved and honored
Now grow strip after strip
Can't you read?

Here a handful of observers feel compelled to sing backup as he motions towards them

Why don't you write for me?
Why do you ignore me?
You dropped me down the pit of second page
Second page, second page

With his song done, the stranger hops off back into the shadows, where he vanishes.

Tohya's force didn't waste time launching into their number. The lights all went out, as did the arcade machines, leaving the place totally black. A piano could be heard, though, and a spotlight soon shows Ping and Yuki dressed in full gothic attire, with too much makeup, waving Japanese hand fans and harmonizing:

[P&Y] Do you mean it?
Do you mean it?
Do you mean it?
Why don't you mean it?
Why do I follow you and where do you go?


As the beat picks up, they throw their fans towards the class. Four fans fly through the crowd with furious blade-tipped edges, cutting through hair and sleeves and finally knifing into the wall. They harmonize on the next line of vocal acrobatics while they twirl and flail their arms, the long red and black and purple fabric of their elaborate dresses rippling and waving through the lights and darkness casting weird patterns of shadow upon the crowd. Then, they launched into the next verse, trading lines back and forth.

[Yuki] You've never seen nothing like it no never in your life
Like going up to heaven and then coming back alive
[Y] Let me tell you all about it
[P] And the world will so allow it
[Y] O~oh, give me a little time to choose
[P] Water babies singing in a lily-pool delight
[Y] Blue powder monkeys praying in the dead of night

More lights come on, though it's still fairly dim, revealing more of Tohya's assembly. They all join in the dance, moving towards the left and right, with a very structured marching beat reminiscient of a military exercise.

[P&Y] Here comes the Black Queen, poking in the pile
Fie-fo the black Queen, marching single file
Take this, take that, bring them down to size
March to the Black Queen


There is a brief instrumental portion, then Kenji, Yuki, and Ping take lead together.

[P] Put them in the cellar with the naughty boys
[Kenji] A little nigger sugar then a rub-a-dub-a baby oil
[Crowd] A~ah~
[P] Black on
[C] A~ah
[P/Y/K] Black on every finger nail and toe we've only begun - begun
[P] Make this, make that, keep making all that noise
[K] March to the Black Queen
[P] Now I've found a fire flower
You can be my rumble pack, you can be my Dualshock, yes

Another brief instrumental portion, the full horde claps with the beat briefly, launches into some more vocal acrobatic "La-la-las," then hang back for the lead three to continue.

[Y]A voice from behind me reminds me
[P/K] (tra la laa tra la laa aaah)
[Y]Spread out your wings you are an angel
Remember to deliver with the speed of light
[Y/P/K] A little bit of lo~ove [Y] and joy
Everything you do ([K]will bear a will) [Y] bears a will and a why and a wherefore
[Y/P/K] A little bit of love and joy
[Y] In each and every soul lies a man, very soon he'll deceive and discover
But even 'til the end of his life,
[Y/P/K] He'll bring a little love

Everyone harmonizes as the song slows for a few measures -

[Male Crowd] Aah ah aah
[Female] La la la la laa
[Male] Ah ah ah ah aah
[Female] Ah la la la laa
[Ping]A~a


- and then Tohya finally makes her appearance as the song approaches its climax. She leaps up and uses Kenji's left hand and Ping's right for platforms as she sings and makes dramatic arm gestures.

[Miho] I reign with my left hand, I rule with my right
I'm lord of all darkness, I'm Queen of the night
I've got the power - now do the march of the Black Queen
[Yuki] My life is in your hands, I'll fo and I'll fie
[Ping] I'll be what you make me, I'll do what you like
I'll be your rag-doll - I'll be your rag-doll
[Kenji] I'll do the march of the Black Queen


All the minions join in, some raising their hands just in time for Tohya to hop on top of them. She prances back and forth across the hand-platforms while they sing.

[Minions] Walking true to style
She's vulgar 'buse and vile
Fie-fo the Black Queen, tattoos all her pies
She boils and she bakes, and she never dots her "I's"
[Y]She's our leader

Tohya leaps on top of an arcade cabinet and conducts a final chorus of "La~la~las." The music winds down, but just as it fades out it begins again. All look over towards the English class to see Largo being held up by his feet by Junpei and Gunpei, the latter a bit shaky.

[Largo] Forget your singalongs and your lullabies
Surrender to the city of the fireflies
Dance with the devil in beat with the band
To hell with all of you hand-in-hand
But now it's time to be gone - [Class] (la la la la~a forever)
[L] Forever
[Class] La la la la~a a~ah a~aah!

All the dark force's eyes are focused at the class, awaiting its next move. Junko has everyone arranged in neat rows, matching with the minions' arrangement. "Funny How Love Is" begins playing.

[Class] Funny how l33t is everywhere just look and see
Funny how l33t is anywhere you're bound to be


As they sing, they advance forward, leaving Largo behind to watch, filing between their opponents' rows and stopping with each line to sing to the minion next to them personally.

Funny how l33t is every filk in every key
Funny how l33t is coming home in time for tea
Funny, funny, funny, oh

This is all tremendously cheesy, but that's just what Ping was built for, so she cannot help but join in, despite Tohya's shouting at her to come to her senses.

Funny how l33t is the end of lies when the truth begins

Some minions are there only for Ping, so her fans also begin singing and dancing with the class.

Tomorrow comes, tomorrow brings
Tomorrow brings l33t in the shape of things
That's what l33t is, that's what l33t is

A few female minions can't resist Boo's cuteness, squeaking with the beat from Largo's shoulder.

Funny how l33t can break your heart so suddenly
Funny how l33t came tumbling down with Adam and Eve

Tohya is incredulous, and stares at Largo with an expression saying, "This couldn't have been your idea."

Funny how l33t is running wild and feeling free
Funny how l33t is coming home in time for tea
Funny, funny, funny

Tohya's right. The sappiness is making Largo feel a bit queasy.

From the box inside to the processor's heat
That's how far and funny is l33t


At this point, the minions are almost entirely sided with the class. A few holdouts throw punches, but they're quickly subdued by superior numbers.

At any time (any time), anywhere (anywhere)
If you gotta l33t boards do it everywhere
That's what l33t is, that's what l33t is


Desperate, Yuki leaps onto the cabinet with Miho, nearly knocking her over, and at Tohya's direction she opens the door with her magic wand and holds her as they fly out. Largo follows alone, except for Boo, and the music continues behind him as he steps out onto the street.

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