Set to the entirety of Bookends, with many apologies to Simon & Garfunkel.
Note that certain tracks were kindly edited edited by slez. If there's something wrong with them, blame him. ^_^

Old and New Theme (Bookends Theme)

(Soft guitar solo)

Yes, Another Filk About the Battle of Megagamers Store (Save the Life Of My Child)

"Good God! Don't rush!"
A classroom charged the crowd
A "zombie" who had fallen was revived - (3y3 g475 m4 p1||z!)
Some bystanders wondered as the fanboys dove for cover
From those still alive

"Save the life of our sensei!"
Cried the desperate classmates

An old man from within the horde changed into a skirt
"He could've spared the panties!" someone sighed
Though some only stood and rubbed their eyes
Others started falling back and cried

"Save the life of our sensei!"
Cried the desperate classmates

(Come here Tohya help me now,
Something's changing tell me how)

A patrol mech passing by halted to a stop
Largo asked him his reason for delay
"I'm telling you to disperse now
'Cause this horde has no permit to riot for today" and beru beru beru...

"Save the life of our sensei!"
Cried the desperate classmates
"Oh what's he teaching to our children?"
Parents askin' their soulmates

When the laser hit, the police dispatched
And the school collapsed
So the class declared a no-school holiday
When the second laser fired
And the 'zilla took a hit
His sky turned grey

Oh, that's lame, I did not save my game
Oh, that's lame, I did not save my game
Oh, that's lame, I did not save my game...

America (America)
(Edited by slez)

Mm~mm~mhm~
Actress and artist, I fin'ly proposed to Kimiko
I threw out the shoujo guides from my bag
So we bought a sappy anime and Anna Miller's pies
And ne'er looked back to my America

"Kimi," I said as we flew to a screening in Edo
"Michigan seems like a dream to me now"
I wasted four months moping 'round Tokyo
Worked hard to go to America

Working in a store
Spending nights in the attic
She thought the doll in the little t-shirt was a girl
I thought her acting would pull her farther away from me

"Let's watch an episode, I think we'll finish that series"
"We watched that volume an hour ago"
So I sketched at the studios, she posed for magazines
And a knight rode over an online field

"Largo, I'm back," I typed, while my lover was working
"I'm happy then lonely and I don't know why"
Camping the stores for the id Software release
A friend's gone back home to America
Gone back home to America
Gone back home to America

Asako, Mami, Always (Overs)

*click*click*

Why don't you come back to your friends?
You know - Asako, Mami, always
No lessons, no sensei
There's no class at all
Just your middle school
Crying under blooming trees
For your artist

We don't want to drift apart
We'll never lose you
To some gaijin's notebook
You stole with book, bag, and it all
But there's no laughs here
Since you made that call
And we know that call
Took a very short time

Pie~
Is calling from Anna Miller's
Hanging out at lunchtime
Catching a movie
And I wonder
How long can we remain?
We're just your posse
Looking out for you

Sure, that American's lookin' kind o' cute
But each time I try on
The thought of losing you
I cry

- Asako, Mami, always

Roommates (Old Friends)
Edited by slez

Roommates, roommates
Old and new seiyuu with shared fates
Two foreigner boys from the West
Dream in the attic
In a game store
Of the roommates

Roommates
Actress companions - the young girls

Stalked by their otaku
Worshipping these idols

The corraling of fanboys
Done two different ways
Shaking the lost
And grey feathers
Of the roommates

Can you imagine us some other way
Treading through our lives normally?
How terribly strange to be celebrities

Roommates
Helping girls with mirrored careers
Differently learning the same ph34r

Old and New Theme (Bookends Theme)

Script is changed, and such a changing script, it changed
A script of cheerfulness, a script without pretenses

Long ago it must be, I was a new actress
Preserve your dignity, else they will ride you

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
End side A on the vinyl record Bookends

Eatin' It (Fakin' It)

When she's mad, she's mean
Watch her ears when they're red
The doll starts to swing that broom
She knows how to swing that broom
Then I know I'm eatin' it
I'm not really l33tin' it

I'm just a Tokyo spy
And a bout with the raver
Asplodes my toy
Tickin' eggs and broken spines
Servin' as the punch lines
I've just been eatin' it
Not really l33tin' it
(O-M-G)

Is there any danger?
No, no, not really
Just to my face
Takin' time to blow your fav'rite venders to da sky!
I've just been eatin' it - eatin' it
Not really l33tin' it
This feeling of eatin' it
I still haven't beaten it

Prior to my new job
I surely was a fanboy
Homely face
("Ohayo, Gateaux-san,
Have j00 gots ne xp?")
All your doll are belong to us
All your games are belong to us
I know I'm eatin' it - eatin' it
I'm not really l33tin' it
This feeling of eatin' it
I still haven't beaten it - beaten it
I know I'm eatin' it
I'm not really l33tin' it

Hamster's Dilemma (Punky's Dilemma)

Wish I was an E3 mascot
Roamin' 'round the floor with Shigeru
Goin' by in a blur, pettin' my fur
Talkin' to a gamer proclaiming his fave consoles
Eagerly throwing out "t3h lolz"

Wish I had a pair of real wings
Then we'd fly and go out to Kyoto
Why don't we go see Ryoan-ji?
I prefer post-it notes
More than forum-posted notes
I'm a "Rodentia for Forum Posted Notes" bloke

Ah, to Megatokyo

If I become a conscience agent
Would you put my photo by your salt-wheel?
"To Miss Fifi -
Best wishes, your Boo"
Neat client's l33t science
Always has him hackin' nude
Why won't he ever do what I'm squeakin' at him to?
(Squerk...)
(O RLY???)

Mr. Gallagher (Mrs. Robinson)
Edited by slez

(L33t lee-lee-lee...)
(F00l foo-foo-foo...)
(L33t lee-lee-lee...)

And here's to you, Mr. Gallagher
Y'know we love you even when you whine, wai wai wai
God bless you please, Mr. Gallagher
We'll always read you even though it's late
Hey hey hey, hey hey hey

So we might joke a little bit about you in our filks
We like to poke and prod you in our posts
Don't you see it's all just a little friendly joke?
Come back and chat with us in your own forum

And here's to you, Mr. Gallagher
Y'know we love you even when you whine, wai wai wai
God bless you please, Mr. Gallagher
We'll always read you even though it's late
Hey hey hey, hey hey hey

Give us all the fanservice you know that we deserve
Draw for us some frames of bras and pantsu
Or give us "Blurred" to at least keep us satisfied
Then, of course, you'd have to hide it from 4chan

Hidoi desu, Mr. Gallagher
Y'know we love you even when you whine, wai wai wai
God bless you please, Mr. Gallagher
We'll always read you even tough it's late
Hey hey hey, hey hey hey

Crashing Makoto-rin ev'ry Sunday afternoon
Don't be so late with your next update
Rant about it, blog about it, when you post bad news
Every way you look at it you lose

Where have you gone, Rodney Caston
Our forum writes its angsty posts for you - woo woo woo
What's that you say, Mr. Gallagher
"L33t" Largo has left and gone away?
Hey hey hey, hey hey hey

Desperate Need of Sweeping (A Hazy Shade Of Winter)
Edited by slez

Pie, pie, pie
What does my owner want?
As I choose between the next two scenarios
It seems so hard to know
But 'round the door
Dusty floors
And this room is in desperate need of sweeping!

Searching through my corrupted code
Down in the evil cave
It's bound to be a darker rave
Than what you could hold
Can't get my functions to load
And 'round the door
Dusty floors, now
And this room is in desperate need of sweeping!

Save all of your games, my friend
That's what I'm always told
But if your game should never load
Simply pretend
That you can save them again
'Round the door
My code is flawed
Am I 3-D?
I'm the beta of my line!

Ah~ waking up to male nudity
Washing hair when it gets stinky
Won't you care to come play with me
Or maybe go have some pie?
Funny how my memory skips
While looking over manuscripts
Of unposted filk
Eating my custard and milk
See 'round the door
Dusty floors, now
And this room is in desperate need of sweeping!

Round the door
Dusty floors
There's a batch of bugs in my core

Round the door
Dusty floors
There's a batch of bugs in my core

Round the door
Dusty floors
There's a batch of bugs in my core

At the Store (At The Zoo)

Someone told me
MegaGamer's is quite the store
I always go there
I go there when I'm bored

Hm-hm-hm-mm~ Oh-oh-oh-wo-ho~ Hm~

It's a long and thorny journey
Through Yoyogi to the store
Just to dodge the carboard ph34rbots at this zoo
But you can play the ph34rgame maze
If you've courage or you're bored
And the manager will love it if you do
If you do, now

Somethin' tells me
MegaGamer's is quite the store
I always go there
I go there when I'm bored

Hm-hm-hm-mm~ Oh-oh-oh-wo-ho~ Hm~

The blonde one works to go back home
The other mails it in
And the gaijin's friend's a hacker and he's cocky
The otaku are searching for
The hideout of their idol
And the manager is very fond of saké

Robots are reactionaries
Girls are artist-wannabes
Ravers plot in secrecy
And hamsters panic frequently
It's so l33t! You gotta come and see
At the store!
At the store...