Mr. Fred
after "Mustapha," (but I can't translate Arabic, so...)
Vocals: SD Forumites

In Japaaaaan
In Japaaaaan
In Japaaaaan
Piro, Piro, Piro, Piro, we'll wait for you

Mr. Fred, Mr. Fred, Mr. Fred in Japan
Mr. Fred, Mr. Fred, Mr. Fred in Japan

[Chorus]
Mr. Fred in Japan,
Mr. Fred in Japan,
Piro, Piro, Piro, we'll wait for you
Mr. Fred in Japan,
The Megatokyo man
Piro, Piro, Piro, we'll wait for you
Mr. Fred, wai~! Mr. Fred!
Mr. Fred in Japan, Mr. Fred in Japan.
Piro-shki, Piro-shki, Piro-shki
In Ja- in Ja- In Japan, w00!
In Japan, In Japan, In Japan,
Piro Piro Piro-shki wai~!

Mr. Fred, Mr. Fred, Piroshki your namesake
Mr. Fred, Mr. Fred, lures women like cupcakes
Mr. Fred, Mr. Fred, Seraphim acts as your conscience
Mr. Fred, Mr. Fred, o o o o otaku.
Mr. Fred,
Mr. Fred,
Your whole world is whirling, you're not willful, Mr. Fred
Who knows where you'll stop.

[Chorus]

Mr. Fred, Mr. Fred [4x]
Mr. Fred! [2x]
Fanboy gaggles gathering and giggling online, Mr. Fred.
Where you'll stop, who knows?

Original Lyrics
Types: Filk, Piro, Humor
Plaid-Skirted Girls
after "Fat-Bottomed Girls"
Vocals: Piro

[Chorus]
Oh, they may not speak that English right
Oh, but that ketsu sure is tight
Oh, scanning sketchbooks full of art
Plaid-skirted girls, they make a fanboy's world go 'round

I was just a gaming nerd,
not much different from the herd,
but I had taste before I left my motherland.
Took my laptop on the web,
4chan hit me on the head,
Screaming "Source plz!!" till I broke my poor broadband.

When I first picked up a pen,
though I can't remember when,
First thing that I drew was great big sparkly eyes
Though they really make a picture
They're so hard they're bound to get you
Still far more P. C. than drawing women's thighs.

[Chorus]

Plaid-skirted girls, they make a fanboy's world go 'round

[er, pardon me...]

I flew over to Japan,
with my drunken fellow man
And my credit card's maxed out, return's a miss.
So I have to stay in Mecca
With those pleats both plaid and checkered
Yes they're jailbait, but I wouldn't mind a kiss...

Plaid-skirted girls...[2x]
Heresy
after "Jealousy"
Vocal: Nanasawa Kimiko (This is not a Debut Single. Talk to Fred about that.)

The stares they gave to me
"Fans are people too."
Must have blown their minds away.
On that radio show,
I had crossed a line and so it seems
It's heresy, what have I done?
Heresy, this will not be fun.
I launched a crusade when
I thought it was right.
Heresy, not what I want.
I didn't mean to, didn't want
These fanboys flocking to my haunts

Why why why is it heresy?
I only care too much, it seems that that's a crime
And the men who pay me called it heresy.

The thoughts they gave to me
like I was still nothing
but a piece of meat
in pretty skirts and lace.
They didn't understand,
and it is out of hand;
what's heresy? Playing a role?
Playing along when it's out of control!
Heresy? This isn't, no!
They'll only work me like a dog,
Until I fall down like a log.

Why, why, why 's it heresy?
I only care too much, it seems that that's a crime
and the men who paid me called it heresy.
I won't capitulate,
no Hirano am I,
And I'll stand by what they say is heresy.

I wasn't smart enough to keep my thought inside
now I'm wanted for my thoughts of heresy.
Types: Filk, Erika, Serious
Personal Space
after Bicycle Race
Vocals: Hayasaka Erika
Backing vocals: Nanasawa Kimiko

Personal! [3x]
My life ought to be
Personal! [3x]

My life ought to be personal
It's normally a right
My life ought to be personal
No mobs that line up beyond sight

You say "Sing?"
I say "No."
"Cosplay show?"
I say "Go!"
You say "Act?"
I say "Shoo, fool,
It takes me too much work
and I see no cameras."

You say "Pics?"
Just go home.
You say "Please?"
Leave me alone!
You say "No?"
I say "Leave, now!"
I was never magical
"Fan" must mean "fanatical,"
I just want to keep things

Personal! [3x]
My life ought to be
Personal! [3x]

My life ought to be personal
It's normally a right
My life ought to be personal
I only want a little bit of

Personal space isn't coming my way
'Cause my face is a bit too well known
Plaid-skirted cosplayers came by today
And I wish I could just leave my home.

Personal space [3x]
Personal! [3x]
My life ought to be
Personal! [3x]
Personal! Personal!
I want some personal space.

[Guitar solo with sirens and muffin-kart motors.]

You say "Sell?"
"You're insane."
You say "Sign?"
I say "Fine."
One more?
I say "Quiet, punk
I don't want to be objectified for your fantasies."

You say "These."
I say "Sure."
"Protection?"
"No need here."
"H career?"
I say "Largo?
Would you please show this guy the door?
His kind don't fit here any more.
I want a life that's calm and...

Personal! [3x]
My life ought to be
Personal! [3x]

My life ought to be personal
It's normally a right
My life ought to be personal
No crowds that line up out of sight
----------------------------------
Notes:

Piroshki is the name of the cat from Kanon, assumedly where Piro got the name from.

Ketsu translates roughly to "fanny." Because it scans, and because Mercury would prefer it. It's informal Japanese; an impolite form of oshiri if I'm not mistaken. Corrections welcome.

Hirano Aya, seiyuu of famous character Suzumiya Haruhi, collapsed from exhaustion at an event earlier this year.

Please note that I nearly died laughing from imagining Piro singing "Plaid-skirted Girls".
___________________________
Is it just me, or are the forums remarkably slow? Oh, wait, I'm on dialup, never mind...
Types: Filk, Sonoda, Humor
I Need A Cushy Desk Job
after "If You Can't Beat Them"
Vocals: Inspector Sonoda

My doctor says I need a vacation
My therapist agrees.
Stress is killing me by the minute,
Need a release from fanboys and mechs
Schedule some smaller-scale wrecks
Fam'ly's a mess,
If I had to hazard a guess,
I'd say
Please present me a pen

I need a cushy desk job
Before my family blows up part of downtown
I need a cushy desk job
I don't like sleeping on the couch

Told my girl to play in the robot
She up and ran away
Now I'm going crazy trying to find her
Mind's on a wire, afraid and dismayed.
I thought I treated her right, but no.
With parents like me it's not surprising
Her mother's worse than me, I should bet.
I'm in the wrong line of work, man.

I need a cushy desk job
Before my family blows up part of downtown
I need a cushy desk job
I don't like sleeping on the couch

I need a cushy desk job
Before my family blows up part of downtown
I need a cushy desk job
I'm sick of sleeping on the couch.
Get me out!
Types: Filk, Ping, Humor
I'm the Robot for You
(after "Let Me Entertain You")
Vocals: Ping v2, EDS Salesman

[PingV2:]
Hey, I've been programmed

Hey! If you give me all of your attention
then you'll never be alone
If you want, I can act as your girlfriend
If you want, I'll be a phone
I can serve you, I can nurse you
Cook you anything you like
Chase you, never disgrace you
Even sing into a mic!
BUY ME! I'm the robot for you! I'm the robot for you!
I'm the robot for you! I'm the robot for you!

[Salesman:]
The object for sale is fulfillment
Stuff that CLAMP never fully explored
She can heal you, she can kill you
Or Cecil DeMille you
And best off, she'll never get bored!

She can play games like a system
She can change shape overnight
If there are scenes that you missed, then
Give another try, all right?

With adjustable dimensions
Completely customized
from her voice down to her hair, you'll see.
If you need some love or a decent friend
Just go down to the store
Pick one out, plug her in,
You're gonna beg for more

She's the robot for you! She's the robot for you!
She's the robot for you! She's the robot for you!

She can be anyone's artwork
She can play anyone's part
WIth models like her around
Normal women look like clowns
Soon they will all be out of date. Ooooh.

If you've got any obsessions,
She'll fulfill your every dream
But please use some discretion
Just like real girls, they get mean.
In the space between her ears
there's more power than Google's got
If the government should ever hear,
You know she's going to wind up shot
She's the robot for She's the robot for
She's the robot for you!
---------------

Further notes: CLAMP is the studio that made CHOBITS, a manga on which Ping is possibly maybe slightly based. "She's the Robot" isn't exactly Ping-based, but I'm waiting for Sony to make such an announcement...

Keep the comments coming! Glad to see I didn't scare off all the newbs. And siasicat, I have all of the words to RENT memorized, so somebody would know it. Though it could be rather tricky to do the entire thing coherently and give it a plot...
Types: Filk, Ed, Humor
Pwnd In Time
(after "Dead On Time")
Vocals: Ed

Who's runnin' through the city with a gun in hand
Ooh, I'm a brand new brute force demolition man
Rooftop with a killstick
Rooftop sniping job,
Rooftop with a bag on his head
Sniping, sniping, sniping, sniping

Grown in time, grown in time,
gotta get that shiny face regrown in time
Grown in time, grown in time,
can't work if it isn't grown in time
Grown in time, grown in time,
gotta have a respawn if you want to cause hell!

Grown in time, grown in time,
Can't be subtle 'less it's grown in time
Grown in time, grown in time,
Burst my bubble when it's grown in time
Grown in time, grown in time,
Mission to accomplish, got a mission to accomplish
got a mission, mission, oh, I'm melting.

Oooh, they say some girls get followed by catastrophes
Oooh, but you know those girls are all on the run from me.
Getting hit by turtles, blasting fanboy mobs
Doing my job, doing my job, doing my
No, I really do enjoy this!

Grown in time, grown in time,
Doing Sony's work, but I get pwn'd each time
Grown in time, grown in time,
Costing Sony money when I'm grown each time
Grown in time, grown in time,
Lying in a bio-tank three days each week.

Fishy, fishy, I'm so bishie, I'm too bishie,
Want another face, want another face
Kill stick! Kill stick! Kill stick!

Grown in time, grown in time
Got infinite credits, get regrown each time
Grown each time, grown each time
Gonna blow things up and get regrown each time

Grown in time, grown in time,
gotta take out half the city get regrown each time
Getting grown each time, grown each time
Pwn't each time.
I'm pwnz'd...
Seven Shades
after "In Only Seven Days"
Vocals: Sonoda Yuki

Blue day, some gaijin left his bag
Bag like a gateway drug
Drawings of girls so sad

I tried to mail and return the bag
He never wrote me back
but I found him anyway

Red faced, I gave the bag back
My friends showed up and made me stammer
And then with Green eyes
I asked to learn
Some woman bullied him,
He let me have a turn
And now I'm scrounging money to buy supplies
Enough for seven shades
They stock almost one hundred pens
Which colors are okay?

Now it's a yellow disposition
Until he's three hours late
The stores turned dark, and in the park

Old gray skies, like colorblind sad girls
Maybe I'll learn how to draw tomorrow

Why won't he phone?
Types: Filk, Miho, Angst
Gamer's Hall
after "Dreamer's Ball"
Vocals: Tohya Miho

I used to be the finest,
used to be a purple Queen
Hacked the finest armor,
Ran MMO RPGs
But all the joy has left the server
And I don't have the best machine.

Gaming used to be my passion
Gaming was the truth and light
But after a fashion, honest gaming fell from sight.
I'm gonna trade my online cash in,
and coin-op 'till I feel all right

You'll find me, find me, find me
in the gamer's hall
In a skein of lace,
with a made-up face,
I'll just be playing, you'll be praying
that you never face me,
Find me, find me, let the lights unwind me
until closing or I'm out of coins.

You'll find me, find me, find me
when I'm good and done.
No more destroying hex,
I'll play by the text,
I'll be honest. If I promise
will you disbelieve me?
Find me, find me,
when colored lights unwind me like confession
in the gamer's hall

Oh, find me, taunt me,
the ghosts will always haunt me
like Ms Pac Man
in the gamer's hall
I'll see you in the gamer's hall.

Woo woo...
Types: Filk, Dom, Humor
Gun It
after "Fun It"
Vocals: Dom

When you wake up full of jet lag,
You need some coffee with bite.
When you wake up to some zombies
You need a van that ain't light.
When you feel surrounded
Run from it; gun it
When you feel guts beneath your wheels
grab your gun, make those suckers squeal
When you shoot, you won't need to aim,
Every one 's gonna die the same

Yeah, when you need to, when you need to send some zombies to hell tonight
You've got to pack more than just heat
when you need to, when you need to send some zombies to hell tonight
Then an armored van is what you need

And when you're not making progress, have fun, use big guns,
'Till the zombies or your ammo's gone and you die, you die.

Start the van, try to drive away
Fight the zombies another day
ain't no shame; your brain might taste good
Ain't no doubt, leave that neighborhood

Yeah, when you need to, when you need to send some zombies to hell tonight
You've got to pack more than just heat
when you need to, when you need to send some zombies to hell tonight
(Hell tonight, hell tonight)
Then an armored van is what you need

Run from it; gun it!
Run from it; gun it!
Run from it; gun it!
Keeping Shop Ain't Easy
after "Leaving Home Ain't Easy"
Vocals: Yanagisawa Yamagishi

Getting off the train,
walking into town
Not a cloud in sight,
it's a lovely day.
I'll be stuck inside,
From the sun I'll hide,
but a break is nice
For a cigarette,
Yes, a cigarette
brings some peace of mind

Now the fans are gone,
Now the world is saved,
but my profit's down
and the rent is due.
I just want to close up,
want to run away
but the store calls me back (store calls me back)
I await the day, 'cause

Keeping shop ain't easy
Even when the customers are mobbing
Keeping time alone
Except the normal flow of crazies
Keeping shop ain't easy
when the shop's not all you know

"Buy my stuff, my stuff please buy."
Why your stuff? I need no stuff
Just not your stuff.
Keeping shop ain't easy
I want to leave the city, 'cause
keeping shop ain't all there is to life, maybe one day
Keeping shop ain't easy
if the fanboys come today.
Types: Filk, Largo, Humor
Can't Hack Me Now
after "Don't Stop Me Now"
Vocals: Largo (Translated from L33t into English)

Today I'm gonna go and bust my credit line
I'm gonna buy-y-y-y
and create a fortified machine
that no-one can break, they're gonna see
they can't hack me now
can't hack me
'cause I'm cooling with breakfast, cooling with breakfast

In the alleyway, looking through the trash
like a hobo, attempting to snag some swag for free
Found a SCSI card! It begins, like Prince of all Cosmos
it's time to roll, roll, roll,
'till they can't hack me!

They're gonna want to know
Just what's in my box
They know it's perfect, but they won't know why!
I'm cooling it with barley's might
It's gonna make any attacker look like a fool

Can't hack me now! Defenses must be rigged up,
the spawns must be camped. Can't hack me now!
And once we get things set up, the fools will get stamped
Can't hack me now! (I'll be coding past midnight)
Can't hack me now! (Custom coding past midnight!)
I can't let them hack at all!

Now I'm out of cash, credit's been revoked.
There must be other ways
To fight a zombie horde with household supplies
I'd make some Astrolite but I don't know how
I need a bigger bomb or Rent-a-
Zi-i-i-il-la right now!

There's chaos in the air!
I'm running them down
with an old golf kart 'cause I just don't care
They want to see some buttocks bared,
I'm gonna make the horde of fanboys look rather bruised

Can't hack me, can't hack me,
Can't hack me, w00t w00t w00t
Can't hack me, can't hack me,
Can't hack me, can't hack me,
Up past midnight, midnight,
can't hack me, can't hack me, yeah!

There's chaos in the air!
I'm running them down
with an old golf kart 'cause I just don't care
They want to see some buttocks bared,
I'm gonna make the horde of fanboys look rather bruised

Can't hack me now! Defenses must be rigged up,
the spawns must be camped. Can't hack me now!
And once we get things set up, the fools will get stamped
Can't hack me now! (I'll be coding past midnight)
Can't hack me now! (Custom coding past midnight!)
I can't let them near at all!
Sore of that Mad
after "More of that Jazz"
Vocals: MT Characters & Angry Forumites

We've been feeling violated
When he tries, we hate it
We've been thinking that this all feels wrong
All he's making
is what Fred was making
for longer spans before
We're sore, sore, sore, sore
of that Mad!
Sore! No more of that Mad!
We want no more, no more of that Mad!

Only comics make us smile
Filk just melt our minds a while
Only drawn art is a real art!
Dark stormy night,
Heart full of fear,
stiffer than boards
I could swear I know that metaphor

We're sore, sore of that Mad!
Sore! No more of that Mad!
Give us no more, no more of that Mad!

Oh, I'm melting!
Oooh, they say some girls get followed by catastrophes
Personal space isn't coming my way
I want a cushy desk job

Gun it
Oh, scanning sketchbooks full of art
Plaid-skirted girls, they make a fanboy's world go 'round

No more! No more! No more!
Of old Mad!

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