Over in the 967 MDT, Bubo said on page 5ish that we needed to flood Ping with Valentine's Day E-cards; and my first thought was "Man, I already did that (here), and nobody noticed... except Sareth, yay, I will totally return your hat to you if I get hold of it, not that that's likely..." Ahem. Anyway, so here is a second attempt, not a rescript this time. Probably obvious what it's from, but just in case.

You may talk about the girls
With their bright eyes and their curls,
The idols who can make the fanboys drool.
And if there were a boy
Who could love a plastic toy,
The world would say "She's fake! You're so uncool!"
Ah, but once in Tokyo,
'Midst the bright lights, sun, and snow,
I lived a while -- really, just a fling;
And of all the games I played,
The memories now fade,
Save that of one, a robot girl named Ping.

She was Ping! Ping! Ping!
"See what games from Sony's Labs I bring!
'Pincess Maker' (that's my fave!),
I can dance -- both mosh and rave;
Please play with me, you won't regret a thing!"

Her hair was long and gray,
Her eyes outshone the day;
And her earblades -- if you tweaked 'em, how she giggled!
Give her just one slice of pie,
She's so happy she could cry;
Brought a flutter to my stomach when she wriggled.
And that was when I swore
All her needs I must ignore:
Fool heart, I'd rather stab you with a fork!
To fall for a machine?
A worse plan I've never seen.
They'd say I was a poor pathetic dork.

It was "Ping ping ping!
Dammit, sit still when you hear the doorbell ring!
If she sees you with no pants,
Then I'll never stand a chance;
She's a real girl, not a Sony piece of bling!"

So I'd yell at her and shove her,
Still she tried to be a lover,
Doing all the little things that lovers do:
Charging up my phone,
Or sweeping up at home;
No doubt a thousand more I never knew.
To her, for whom I pined,
Dear Ping was naught but kind;
"Please be my friend, I know just how you feel."
Though you've circuits and you've wires,
And you've heartstrings tuned with pliers,
God knows the love you offered me was real.

Ping! Ping! Ping!
That innocent yet saucy little thing!
Though I used you and I "played" you,
By the Sony Labs that made you,
You're far more real than I am, little Ping!

(Uwahh, Kipling had five of those big 12+5 line stanzas, and I only managed three. :( Hopefully Ping will still like it a little bit. :wub:)

[Editor's note: darrin's work was originally untitled. "Robot Ping" is used to comply with the CWDB's parameters]

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