Open Eyes Rant [Atom Heart Mother Suite]

a) Filker's Shout [Father's Shout]

Where the hell's the comic, Fred!
I've been waiting seven hours,
My F5 key is damn near dead,
Waiting only for its funeral flowers.

Is it so hard to write the friggin' strip?
Really, tell me, it's only your job.
I wish my boss let my standards slip
To your standards of craftsmanship.

B) Rest Filky [Breast Milky]

My friend, do not abuse the artist so.
He has given you free entertainment -
Three strips a week (more or less)
And owes you nothing more.

Sit back, relax, enjoy the pace.
Analyze the third brick in panel four,
Or that odd mark on Ping-chan's face
And don't even suggest 'tis only a stray mark!

c) Mother Brain [Mother Fore]

Oh, the line of fans is endless, nameless!
Hordes of newbies coming in and out again,
Choose a lousy name, write seven sucky posts,
Leave for greener boards, return by other names!

The main discussion thread would be so nice
If they felt no need to chime on every posted strip
Merely to say they love Tohya's latest outfit
Or ask if hamsters are a particular specie of mice.

Damn, just go somewhere else!

d) Filky Dung [Funky Dung]

...okay... how about this?

I have one task in Piney Flats,
A verse to write, and it's
About a time I dined in Pat's
And wrote about their slivovitz.

The poets there in Piney Flats
They boast of their delightful wits
Then joke of bats and rats and cats
And drink a jug of slivovitz.

I asked the bards of Piney flats
From where they gained their wiley wits.
Perhaps they've studied poetic tracts?
"Not that," they say, "but from the slivovitz!"

e) Mind Your Posts, Please [Mind Your Throats, Please]

The flames they roar accross the board
Spamming and trolling every thread
I wish you could, you know you should
Just discuss the comic instead!

f) Filker's Indoor Voice [Remergence]
[Additional apologies to Ezra Pound]

I make a pact with you, Fred Gallagher -
I have detested you long enough.
I come to you as an old Rodney fan
Who has had a slow, boring comic;
I am l33t enough now to sit still.
It was you who leapt over the wall
That divided our two "-visions."
We have one strip and one artist -
Let there be commerce between us.

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