OK, I've been futzing around with this for far too long. I want to start on Chapter 10, and have been holding back to keep spoilers away and give you the honest filk I would have written had I been reading when Miho went boom at the end of Chapter 9. So, I present to you a rendering of Tom Lehrer's classic, "We Will All Go Together When We Go." Titled, after the old writerly maxim, Kill Your Darlings.

However, this filk is not yet finished! There should be two more verses, and I'm sure you could just keep going. Come on, somebody, flesh this out with me! Think back to the end of Chapter 9, or to that time when Ms. Calendar got offed on Buffy. Or Harry Potter, book 7.

Original lyrics here
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Kill Your Darlings

When you make an online serial
for a living, here's a theory you'll
need to know to manage fans who vent their spleen.
You may think I'm sounding bossy
but I learned this stuff from Joss Whe
don: your characters should die when they're on screen.

No more drawing crazy dresses
With those frills and ribboned tresses
We'll make Yuki wear more costumes in her scenes.
Until the zilla eats her brains
Or her mom goes more insane
And I'm sure that you know just what I mean.

Yes, they will all have to struggle to survive
At the end, we don't know who will be alive
Will the seiyuu still be standing
Or is her role more demanding?
Will she be dragged to a hellish zombie hive?

Every character will live on for their fans
But if those fans should start to make demands
We'll remove some organs vital
and the words that we recite'll
be "Everything is according to plan."

And if we want to bring her back, then we can.
Like how we revived old Ed as Bijin Man
Or she'll come back like that tosser
Who goes by the name Tsubasa
Put him on a bus or in a distant land

But at the A-ni-mate
The fans are getting quite irateh

And they will all meet their ends one at a time
Paired up or killed off, anything is fine
When Largo's brain goes AWOL
Or a zilla hits the bay wall,
Or the cops catch Yuki for all her crimes

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Come on! Claim your 15 minutes of fame now!
-Mad Word

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