Based on this little ditty I present for your delectation and delight:

Bom Bom (sorry, it got a bit dark at the end. And the beginning. And the middle, if I'm being honest. Ah well)

[Ed]

I'm the guy with the big black gun, blowin' things up like a bomb, bomb, bomb!

I'm the guy with the big black gun, blowin' things up like a bomb, bomb, bomb!

I'm Ed, see, I'm deadly. I like your style of dying!
How kawaii, just transistors, plastic, circuits and resistors -
I want just a spot to snipe and then I'll say "night night!"
Texting straight to your head for the fright, to see you run is delight-ful . .
I've got a knife in my pocket, knife in my pocket, take your eye from its socket.
Borrowed life but I've got style, only killing on my mind,
I'm so cool and you're so dead when I go Bam! Bam! Bam!

(Instrumental break - brass)

Fall to the ground with Bam! Bam! Bam!

(Instrumental break - brass)

I'm so cool and you're so dead when I go Bam! Bam! Bam!

(Instrumental)

[Dom]

Now I'm the guy with the minivan, going round like I've got a plan!
You're dreaming, I'm scheming. I'll like your helpless screaming.
I'm charming, and a shaker, loaded dice and my plans make a
place from where you'll want to run and then I get my gun.
I've got your life in my pocket, life in my pocket, your way out - I'll block it.
I've got life, I've got style, always plotting in my mind,
I'm so cool and you're so damned when I make plans, plans plans!

(Instrumental break - brass)

Thrashing around in my plans, plans, plans!

(Instrumental break - brass)

I'm so cool and you're so damned when I make plans, plans plans!

[Alternate second verse for the terminally happy]

[Miho]

I'm the girl with rings on my thumbs, going around like I'm just no-one.
I'm helpless, I'm beaten, just waiting to be eaten.
Pathetic. My life fated, my death keenly anticipated!
I want to be left alone and then I'll meet my Doom!
Going in to the dark of the night where zombie hordes will devour me.
I've got my phone in my pocket, hope in my pocket, friends who only mock it.
End my life. I'm so lonely, just got my fans, fans fans.

(Instrumental break - brass)

End my life. I'm so lonely, just got my fans, fans fans.

(Instrumental break - brass)

End my life. I'm so lonely, just got my fans, fans fans.

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