I decided to get "smurdish" with this filk, and deface an album cover. Anyone else out there familiar with Warren Zevon?

Fanboyz of Tokyo
(to the tune of Werewolves of London)

I saw a fanboy with an Anna Miller's menu in his hand,
He was walking through the streets of Tokyo in the rain,
He was looking for his favorite MT girl,
For to get a big dose of kawaii-pain.

[chorus]
Ah-w000t! Fanboyz of Tokyo.
Ah-w000000t!
Ah-w000t! Fanboyz of Tokyo.
Ah-w000000t!

You see him skulking around a gamers' store,
Wearing his welcome thin,
Compound fractures in all of his legs and arms,
Fanboyz of Tokyo again.

[chorus]

He's the nerdy little pest who annoys the waitresses,
Lately he's been analyzing bra-size,
"You better stay away from her, 'cause she's a lap-pourer!"
Heh - I like to hear his outcries.

[chorus]

Well I saw teddy-bearers stalking after girlz,
Doing the fanboyz of Tokyo,
I saw teddy-bearers stalking junior highschool girlz,
Doing the fanboyz of Tokyo.
I saw a fanboy drinking Sapporo at Hikari no Umi,
His hair was wild.

[chorus]

Draw girlz!

(apologies to Warren Zevon)
=============================================
Werewolves Of London
Warren Zevon


I saw a werewolf with a chinese menu in his hand
Walking through the streets of Soho in the rain
He was looking for the place called Lee Ho Fuk's
For to get a big dish of beef chow mien

[chorus]
Ah-oooh werewolves of London
Ah-oooh
Ah-oooh werewolves of London
Ah-oooh

You hear him howling around your kitchen door
You better not let him in
Little old lady got mutilated last night
Werewolves of London again

[chorus]

He's the hairy handed gent who ran amuck in Kent
Lately he's been overheard in Mayfair
You better stay away from him, he'll rip your lungs out Jim
Huh - I'd like to meet his tailor

[chorus]

Well I saw Lon Cheyney walking with the Queen
Doing the werewolves of London
I saw Lon Cheyney Junior walking with the Queen
Doing the werewolves of London
I saw a werewolf drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic's
And his hair was perfect

[chorus]

Draw blood!
*Bumpin'* my own thread with a timely filk. The problem with filking Warren Zevon is coming up with lyrics as insane as his own...

Piro the Headless Fanboy Artist
(to the tune of Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner)

Piro was a fanboy, in the Land of the Rising Sun,
With his sketch-pad full of sad girls, drawings he had done,
A scene was made at E3, the cops were going to show,
And that's why he and Largo went to Tokyo.

His life was complicated by seven girls kawaii*,
He searched in shoujo manga for solutions to his plight,
For days and nights they teased him, or tried to get a rise,
Or burned him with hot coffee, or cut him down to size.

Piro, the fanboy artist...
Piro, the fanboy artist...

He labored to make money, and rectify his life,
But a teen-aged girl named Yuki led him into strife,
In heedlessness he stood her up, in sadness Yuki fled,
And the fanboys from the YLF cut off Piro's head!

Piro the headless fanboy artist,
(Time, time, time, for another fanboy war),
Tokyo's helpless one,
(Fanboy factions roam the streets 'til they even up the score),
You can still see his detatched body wandering through the streets,
With the duct tape used to stick his head back on,
With the duct tape used to stick his head back on.

Now Piro's lost his head before, to Ed and Shirt Guy Dom,
It's plain he needs an easier way to get it stuck back on!
The nurses at the hospital run by the UFL
Grafted velcro to his neck, and that worked pretty well.

Piro the headless fanboy artist...
Piro the headless fanboy artist...
Piro the headless fanboy artist...
Talkin' about the fan!
Piro the headless fanboy artist...

The eternal fanboy artist still wanders Tokyo,
Drawing pictures he does best: sad girls in the snow,
While irate fanboys, editors, and sundry seek his head,
And fanboys got
An awful lot
Of cream pies in the face, and lost it!

*A reference to Akira Kurosawa's classic Seven Samurai. The girls are Kimiko, Erika, Yuki, Miho, Ping, Seraphim, and Kotone(?); and a "magnificent seven" they are, too!

(apologies to Warren Zevon)
==========================================
Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner
Warren Zevon


Roland was a warrior from the Land of the Midnight Sun
With a Thompson gun for hire, fighting to be done
The deal was made in Denmark on a dark and stormy day
So he set out for Biafra to join the bloody fray

Through sixty-six and seven they fought the Congo war
With their fingers on their triggers, knee-deep in gore
For days and nights they battled the Bantu to their knees
They killed to earn their living and to help out the Congolese

Roland the Thompson gunner...
Roland the Thompson gunner...

His comrades fought beside him - Van Owen and the rest
But of all the Thompson gunners, Roland was the best
So the CIA decided they wanted Roland dead
That son-of-a-bitch Van Owen blew off Roland's head

Roland the headless Thompson gunner
(Time, time, time, for another peaceful war)
Norway's bravest son
(But time stands still for Roland til he evens up the score)
They can still see his headless body stalking through the night
In the muzzle flash of Roland's Thompson gun
In the muzzle flash of Roland's Thompson gun

Roland searched the continent for the man who'd done him in
He found him in Mombassa in a barroom drinking gin
Roland aimed his Thompson gun - he didn't say a word
But he blew Van Owen's body from there to Johannesburg

Roland the headless Thompson gunner...
Roland the headless Thompson gunner...
Roland the headless Thompson gunner...
Talkin' about the man!
Roland the headless Thompson gunner...

The eternal Thompson gunner
still wandering through the night
Now it's ten years later but he still keeps up the fight
In Ireland, in Lebanon, in Palestine and Berkeley
Patty Hearst heard the burst of Roland's Thompson gun and bought it
Crossbows, Beer and Ninjas
(to the tune of Lawyers, Guns and Money)

I went into a dance hall
Alone except for Boo,
How was I to know
It was Miho's hang-out too.

I was in the Cave of Evil,
Where zombie ravers swarmed,
Send crossbows, b33r and n1nj4s,
Man, get my ass rearmed - rask!

My l33t skillz notwithstanding,
Somehow I got ph34r,
I'm low on ammunition,
And I'm down on my b33r,
Yes I'm down on my b33r,
Well I'm down on my b33r.

Send crossbows, b33r and n1nj4s...w00t!

Now I'm fighting hordes of zombies,
I am a desperate man,
Send crossbows, b33r and n1nj4s,
The shit has hit the fan! - sw33t!

Send crossbows, b33r and n1nj4s...
Send crossbows, b33r and n1nj4s...
Send crossbows, b33r and n1nj4s...

(apologies etc)
===========================================
Lawyers, Guns and Money
Warren Zevon


I went home with the waitress
The way I always do
How was I to know
She was with the Russians, too

I was gambling in Havana
I took a little risk
Send lawyers, guns and money
Dad, get me out of this - Hah!

An innocent bystander
Somehow I got stuck
Between the rock and the hard place
And I'm down on my luck
Yes I'm down on my luck
Well I'm down on my luck

Send lawyers guns and money...

(additional verse included on the Excitable Boy cd)

Now I'm hiding in Honduras
I'm a desperate man
Send lawyers, guns and money
The shit has hit the fan

Send lawyers, guns and money...
Dunno what it is about the fanboy antics around here that remind me of Warren Zevon songs, but here's another one in honor of a recent thread. (BTW Kurozen, you still working on "Play it All Night Long"?)

Slay that Loathsome Blip
(to the tune of Play It All Night Long)

MT factions all pissed-off,
Fans at war again,
Fanboy Draegos has both guns drawn,
He ain't been right since Yuki-chan.

"Anna Miller's Pie",
Play that fanboy's filk,
Hunt down that Mephasis guy,
Slay that loathsome blip.

Tell everyone you're unaligned,
Better find a hidin' place,
Say you're neutral in this forum,
Everyone's on your case!

"Anna Miller's Pie",
Play that fanboy's filk,
Hunt down that Mephasis guy,
Slay that loathsome blip.

I'm hidin' out at Anna Miller's,
Lookin' for a neutral 'hood,
There's too much of faction fighting,
Duct-tape, pies, and snack-bar food!

"Anna Miller's Pie",
Play that fanboy's filk,
Hunt down that Mephasis guy,
Slay that loathsome blip.

(dreadfully sorry, Warren)
==============================================
Play It All Night Long
Warren Zevon


Grandpa pissed his pants again
He don't give a damn
Brother Billy has both guns drawn
He ain't been right since Viet Nam

"Sweet Home Alabama"
Play that dead band's song
Turn those speakers up full blast
Play it all night long

Daddy's doing Sister Sally
Grandma's dying of cancer now
The cattle all have brucellosis
We'll get through somehow

"Sweet Home Alabama"
Play that dead band's song
Turn those speakers up full blast
Play it all night long

I'm going down to the Dew Drop Inn
See if I can drink enough
There ain't much to country living
Sweat, piss, jizz and blood

"Sweet Home Alabama"
Play that dead band's song
Turn those speakers up full blast
Play it all night long
Special guest-singer Erika steps up to the microphone - but first, a little something to make C-kun gouge his eyes out, as the not-penguin takes a break from hassling Draegos.


Oi, These Otaku Pests
(to the tune of Poor, Poor Pitiful Me)

I lay my head down upon my arms,
Trying to get a little rest,
A fanboy asks for an autograph,
Oi, these otaku pests.

Oi, these otaku pests,
Oi, these otaku pests,
Those fanboyz won't let me rest,
Lord you know more is less,
I need rest!

Well a fanboy came to the Tecmo booth,
When I was working there,
He must've thought he was pretty smooth,
But he just stood and stared,
Then he made a comment, very rude,
He was such an idiot;
And he tried to touch more than he should,
So I punched his ticket!

Oi, these otaku pests,
Oi, these otaku pests,
Those fanboyz won't let me rest,
Lord you know more is less,
I need rest!

I took a fanboy out and bought him beer,
Don't ask me why I did it,
He said he could make "my systemz scream",
I don't want to talk about it.

Oi, these otaku pests,
Oi, these otaku pests,
Those fanboyz won't let me rest,
Lord you know more is less,
I need rest!

(gomen nasai-gomen nasai-gomen nasai Warren-san!!)
======================================
Poor, Poor Pitiful Me
Warren Zevon


I'd lay my head on the railroad tracks
And wait for the Double E
But the railroad don't run no more
Poor, poor pitiful me

Poor, poor pitiful me
Poor, poor pitiful me
These young girls won't let me be
Lord have mercy on me
Woe is me

Well, I met a girl in West Hollywood
I ain't naming names
She really worked me over good
She was just like Jesse James
She really worked me over good
She was a credit to her gender
She put me through some changes, Lord
Sort of like a Waring blender

Poor, poor pitiful me
Poor, poor pitiful me
These young girls won't let me be
Lord have mercy on me
Woe is me

Well, I met a girl at the Rainbow bar
She asked me if I'd beat her
She took me back to the Hyatt House
I don't want to talk about it

Poor, poor pitiful me
Poor, poor pitiful me
These young girls won't let me be
Lord have mercy on me
Woe is me
In Megatokyo

Everybody's sleepless, with a mountain of spare time,
Someone's always trying to tell them they shouldn't spend it all on-line,
Man, you'd think it was some kind of crime,

But don't it make you want to post replies
All night long, in Megatokyo.
I've seen some forum monkeys there on-line,
On the forums, in Megatokyo.

You know that Mihoists are people too,
Just a little bit more dead than you.
In drags the local zombie, like he crawled out of the grave,
He'll spend all night recovering from some drugs done at the rave,

But don't it make you want to post replies
All night long, in Megatokyo.
I've seen some forum monkeys there on-line,
On the forums, in Megatokyo.

Everyone's relentless when they're tryin' to get first post,
Keep on punchin' that refresh button, still you end up forum toast,
You can hear the winner boast,

But don't it make you want to post replies
All night long, in Megatokyo.
I've seen some forum monkeys there on-line,
On the forums, in Megatokyo.

You've been up all night waiting here for Fred,
Hoping that he'll post the comic before he goes to bed,
I heard some forum seniors warning newbies just 'ere dawn,
Be watchful for that Shirt Guy Dom,

But don't it make you want to post replies
All night long, in Megatokyo.
I've seen some forum monkeys there on-line,
On the forums, in Megatokyo,
In Megatokyooooooo!

(reeeeeeeally, really sorry, Warren ol' buddy)
========================================================
Mohammed's Radio
Warren Zevon


Everybody's restless and they've got no place to go,
Someone's always trying to tell them something they already know,
So their anger and resentment flow,

But don't it make you want to rock and roll
All night long, Mohammed's Radio.
I heard somebody singing sweet and soulful
On the radio, Mohammed's Radio.

You know, the Sheriff's got his problems too,
He will surely take them out on you,
In walked the village idiot and his face was all aglow,
He's been up all night listening to Mohammed's Radio,

Don't it make you want to rock and roll
All night long, Mohammed's Radio.
I heard somebody singing sweet and soulful,
On the radio, Mohammed's Radio.

Everybody's desperate, trying to make ends meet,
Work all day, still can't pay the price of gasoline and meat,
Alas, their lives are incomplete,

Don't it make you want to rock and roll
All night long, Mohammed's Radio.
I heard somebody singing sweet and soulful
On the radio, Mohammed's Radio.

You've been up all night listening for his drum,
Hoping that the righteous might just might just might just come,
I heard the General whisper to his aide-de-camp,
Be watchful for Mohammed's lamp,

Don't it make you want to rock and roll
All night long, Mohammed's Radio.
I heard somebody singing sweet and soulful
On the radio, Mohammed's Radio,
Mohammed's Radio.
This brief revival is in remembrance of Warren Zevon, who died of lung cancer last Sunday, September 7th, at the age of 56. He's gone, but he kindly left us his music.

Weirdest Fanboys You've Ever Seen
(to the tune of Desperadoes Under the Eaves)

I was shoppin' in the Megagamer's Yoyogi store,
I was tryin' to make myself believe my luck,
I was thinkin' of the rumors that were flyin',
All the Broken Bird CD's they have left in stock,
I'm gonna buy 'em up.

And when Hayasaka meets me at the counter,
I will ask her for her autograph and then
I predict that I'll end up in traction,
The envy of my friends.

Ha! Don't that girl look angrily at me,
Ain't she gonna break a bone or two or three,
Don't we seem the weirdest fanboys you've ever seen,
Waitin' for the idol of our dreams?

Still wakin' up in the mornings with helpless sighs,
And I'm tryin' to find the girl that did delight me,
With the beauty of her voice and hair and eyes,
Don't that girl look angrily at me.

I was shoppin' in the Megagamer's Yoyogi store,
I was listenin' to some customers call me dumb,
They said dumb, dumb, duuuuumb.....
...Run away...
(Run away from outraged actresses, run away...)

(sigh...rest in peace, Warren)
=============================================
Desperadoes Under the Eaves
Warren Zevon


I was sitting in the Hollywood Hawaiian Hotel
I was staring in my empty coffee cup
I was thinking that the gypsy wasn't lyin'
All the salty margaritas in Los Angeles
I'm gonna drink 'em up

And if California slides into the ocean
Like the mystics and statistics say it will
I predict this motel will be standing until I pay my bill


Don't the sun look angry through the trees
Don't the trees look like crucified thieves
Don't you feel like Desperados under the eaves
Heaven help the one who leaves


Still waking up in the mornings with shaking hands
And I'm trying to find a girl who understands me
But except in dreams you're never really free
Don't the sun look angry at me


I was sitting in the Hollywood Hawaiian Hotel
I was listening to the air conditioner hum
It went mmmmmm..
... Look away...
(Look away down Gower Avenue, Look away...)

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