*Bumpin'* my own thread with a timely filk. The problem with filking Warren Zevon is coming up with lyrics as insane as his own...

Piro the Headless Fanboy Artist
(to the tune of Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner)

Piro was a fanboy, in the Land of the Rising Sun,
With his sketch-pad full of sad girls, drawings he had done,
A scene was made at E3, the cops were going to show,
And that's why he and Largo went to Tokyo.

His life was complicated by seven girls kawaii*,
He searched in shoujo manga for solutions to his plight,
For days and nights they teased him, or tried to get a rise,
Or burned him with hot coffee, or cut him down to size.

Piro, the fanboy artist...
Piro, the fanboy artist...

He labored to make money, and rectify his life,
But a teen-aged girl named Yuki led him into strife,
In heedlessness he stood her up, in sadness Yuki fled,
And the fanboys from the YLF cut off Piro's head!

Piro the headless fanboy artist,
(Time, time, time, for another fanboy war),
Tokyo's helpless one,
(Fanboy factions roam the streets 'til they even up the score),
You can still see his detatched body wandering through the streets,
With the duct tape used to stick his head back on,
With the duct tape used to stick his head back on.

Now Piro's lost his head before, to Ed and Shirt Guy Dom,
It's plain he needs an easier way to get it stuck back on!
The nurses at the hospital run by the UFL
Grafted velcro to his neck, and that worked pretty well.

Piro the headless fanboy artist...
Piro the headless fanboy artist...
Piro the headless fanboy artist...
Talkin' about the fan!
Piro the headless fanboy artist...

The eternal fanboy artist still wanders Tokyo,
Drawing pictures he does best: sad girls in the snow,
While irate fanboys, editors, and sundry seek his head,
And fanboys got
An awful lot
Of cream pies in the face, and lost it!

*A reference to Akira Kurosawa's classic Seven Samurai. The girls are Kimiko, Erika, Yuki, Miho, Ping, Seraphim, and Kotone(?); and a "magnificent seven" they are, too!

(apologies to Warren Zevon)
==========================================
Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner
Warren Zevon


Roland was a warrior from the Land of the Midnight Sun
With a Thompson gun for hire, fighting to be done
The deal was made in Denmark on a dark and stormy day
So he set out for Biafra to join the bloody fray

Through sixty-six and seven they fought the Congo war
With their fingers on their triggers, knee-deep in gore
For days and nights they battled the Bantu to their knees
They killed to earn their living and to help out the Congolese

Roland the Thompson gunner...
Roland the Thompson gunner...

His comrades fought beside him - Van Owen and the rest
But of all the Thompson gunners, Roland was the best
So the CIA decided they wanted Roland dead
That son-of-a-bitch Van Owen blew off Roland's head

Roland the headless Thompson gunner
(Time, time, time, for another peaceful war)
Norway's bravest son
(But time stands still for Roland til he evens up the score)
They can still see his headless body stalking through the night
In the muzzle flash of Roland's Thompson gun
In the muzzle flash of Roland's Thompson gun

Roland searched the continent for the man who'd done him in
He found him in Mombassa in a barroom drinking gin
Roland aimed his Thompson gun - he didn't say a word
But he blew Van Owen's body from there to Johannesburg

Roland the headless Thompson gunner...
Roland the headless Thompson gunner...
Roland the headless Thompson gunner...
Talkin' about the man!
Roland the headless Thompson gunner...

The eternal Thompson gunner
still wandering through the night
Now it's ten years later but he still keeps up the fight
In Ireland, in Lebanon, in Palestine and Berkeley
Patty Hearst heard the burst of Roland's Thompson gun and bought it

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