Origin: Jingle Bells
This is in response to Opt498's challenge in the [412] discussion thread. I posted the first verse and chorus there last night and have since completed the filk. Some slight changes have been made to the chorus. This proved amazingly easy to filk, and fun as well. Thanks Opt498, for providing the challenge!

Please note that Kaj wrote the "Largo smells" line, Opt498, "Piro reeks as well", but the rest of the filked lyrics are mine.

<hr/>Largo Smells

{Chorus}
Kitty bells, Largo smells, Piro reeks as well.
"No offense, I thought you died, the funk is straight from hell."
Kitty bells, Largo smells, Piro reeks as well.
"No offense, I thought you died, the funk is straight from hell."

{Repeat Chorus}

VERSE:
Waking in the dawn, in a tiny Tokyo loft.
A Beowulf Cluster built, but not by Microsoft.
Ping-chan recharging, waking in a fright,
"Oh, Piro-san, I smell so bad, how can I set it right?"

{Chorus}
{Repeat Chorus}

VERSE:
Oh, just the other day, things were looking bright,
I'd wowed Miss Kimiko,
and kindled her delight.
Now in this tiny room,
I'm overwhelmed by gloom,
My robot girl needs a bath, and we don't know what to do!

{Chorus}
{Repeat Chorus}

VERSE:
There is a girl to ask,
but she'll break my head!
Ping can't download this task,
'Cause the Wall stops her dead.
Largo's no help at all,
I'm wondering what to do,
When knock, knock, knock, Miho's at the door with soap and shampoo!

{Chorus}
{Repeat Chorus}

<hr/>Jingle Bells

CHORUS:
Jingle bells, Jingle bells, Jingle all the way.
Oh what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh.
Jingle bells, Jingle bells, Jingle all the way.
Oh what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh.

Repeat Chorus

VERSE:
Dashing thro' the snow, in a one-horse open sleigh.
O'er the fields we go, laughing all the way.
Bells on bob-tails ring, making spirits bright,
what fun it is to ride and sing a sleighing song tonight.

Chorus
Repeat Chorus

VERSE:
A day or two ago, I thought I'd take a ride
And soon Miss Fanny Bright
Was seated at my side
The horse was lean and lank
Misfortune seemed his lot
he got into and drifted back, and we, we've got upset

Chorus
Repeat Chorus

VERSE:
Now the ground is white,
Go it while you're young!
Take the girls tonight,
And sing this sleighing song.
Just get a bobtail'd bay,
Twoforty for his speed,
Then hitch him to an open sleigh
And crack! You'll take the lead.

Chorus
Repeat chorus
Oh Smelly Ones
{After Oh, Christmas Tree}

Oh, Smelly Ones, Oh, Smelly Ones,
How nauseous is your stench!
Oh, Smelly Ones, Oh, Smelly Ones,
How nauseous is your stench!
You haven't bathed in many weeks,
And now your bodies do doth reek.
Oh, Smelly Ones, Oh, Smelly Ones,
How nauseous is your stench!

Oh, Smelly Ones, Oh, Smelly Ones,
How can I get my hair clean?
Oh, Smelly Ones, Oh, Smelly Ones,
How can I get my hair clean?
You might enjoy being clothed in grime,
but I dislike being soaked in slime.
Oh, Smelly Ones, Oh, Smelly Ones,
How can I get my hair clean?

Oh, Smelly Ones, Oh, Smelly Ones,
To the bathhouse, follow me.
Oh, Smelly Ones, Oh, Smelly Ones,
To the bathhouse, follow me.
Originally, I came for Ping,
but you both need a dunking.
Oh, Smelly Ones, Oh, Smelly Ones,
To the bathhouse, follow me.

<hr/>Oh, Christmas Tree!

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree,
How steadfast are your branches!
Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree,
How steadfast are your branches!
Your boughs are green in summer's clime
And through the snows of wintertime.
Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree,
How steadfast are your branches!

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree,
What happiness befalls me?
Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree,
What happiness befalls me?
When oft at joyous Christmastime
Your form inspires my song and rhyme.
Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree,
What happiness befalls me ?

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree,
Your boughs can teach a lesson.
Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree,
Your boughs can teach a lesson.
That constant faith and hope sublime
Lend strength and comfort through all time.
Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree,
Your boughs can teach a lesson
God Rest Ye Very Smelly Ones
(To "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen")

God rest ye, very smelly ones,
May nothing you dismay!
Remember Miho-san will come
To bath us all today
And save us all from odor's pow'r
Though our souls we may pay
Oh, blessings of shampoo and soap,
Shampoo and soap,
Oh, blessings of shampoo and soap!

-------------------

God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

God rest ye, merry gentlemen!
May nothing you dismay;
Remember Christ, our savior,
Was born on Christmas day!
He saved us all from Satan's pow'r
When we had gone astray
Oh, tidings of comfort and joy
Comfort and joy,
Oh, tidings of comfort and joy!

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