Megatokey

'Twas gomish, and the bishi pervs
Did bance and snurfle at the rave,
All kwimi were the gothy skirls,
And the zomblers umish waved.

"Beware the Megatoke, my son,
"The zombie scum, the Shirt Guy Dom!
"Beware the snowy girls, and shun
"The angstrous Fanboyon!"

He took his whirpled mouse in hand,
Long time the online strip he sought,
He opened up his box and then
His Athlon ov3rclocked.

And as he ov3rclocked his box,
The Megatoke, it's forums flamed,
Came gwhimbling through the cyberlocks,
And r0x0r3d as it came.

Aught-one, aught-one, and done and done,
The whirpled mouse went swicky-click,
And so had he, in binary,
Downloaded all its strips.

"And hast thou ownz3d the Megatoke?
"Then let me see thy screamish toy,
"And view the strips! O wai! O wai!"
He chortled in his joy.

'Twas gomish, and the bishi pervs
Did bance and snurfle at the rave,
All kwimi were the gothy skirls,
And the zomblers umish waved.

From Through the L33ting Gl4ss:

"You seem very clever at explaining words, Sir," said Yuki. "Would you kindly tell me the meaning of the poem called 'Megatokey'?"

"Let's hear it," said Humpty Dumpty. "I can explain all the poems that were ever invented -- and a good many that haven't been invented just yet."

This sounded very hopeful, so Yuki repeated the first verse:

'Twas gomish, and the bishi pervs
Did bance and snurfle at the rave,
All kwimi were the gothy skirls,
And the zomblers umish waved.

"That's enough to begin with," Humpty Dumpty interrupted: "there are plenty of hard words there. "Gomish" is a fishtail word, to begin with."

"What is a 'fishtail' word?" said Yuki.

"Well, it's one of those words that are created by adding 'ish' to the end, like 'fourish', when you think it is close to four o'clock, but you aren't entirely sure. In this case, the fishtail has been added to a Japanese word."

"So, gomish is being sorry, but not really?" Yuki remarked thoughtfully.

"Actually, it is applied to the time of night that people are usually sorry they came to a party, which is about four o'clock in the morning."

"Oh," said Yuki. "Then 'bishi' would just be 'pretty'."

"Just so," said Humpty Dumpty, sidling nearer. "And pervs..."

"That'll do very well," said Yuki primly. "You needn't explain: and 'bance'?"

"Well, "bance" means bounce and dance, especially like a bishi perv. You see it's like a portmanteau -- there are two meanings packed up into one word."

"I see it now," Yuki remarked: "and what does 'snurfle' mean? And 'rave'?"

"To 'snurfle' is to snort powder from your palm, and the sound you make doing so get's muffled, especially if the powder slides down inside your cuff," Humpty Dumpty explained. "A rave is a party at which one frequently snurfles, you see."

"And 'kwimi'?" asked Yuki. "Another portmanteau?"

"Of course, but with Japanese carving. And since you guessed, you tell me what it means."

"Kawaii and hime," said Yuki, "Like a fairy princess. But what in the world is a gothy skirl?"

"A skirl is a girl in a skirt. Gothy means that there's a lot of black cloth, leather and steel involved."

"It sounds uncomfortable," said Yuki, doubtfully.

"Perhaps so," answered Humpty Dumpty. "I imagine they make do. Now, 'zomblers' are shambling zombies, who enjoy rave music."

"That's seem's clear. And 'umish' is another fishtail word?"

"Exactly. In this case, it means the zomblers were waving like the sea."

"What a curious thing for them to do." remarked Yuki.

"It is, at that. They also make their homes in public sewers, and some are enslaved to gothy skirls. Who's been repeating all that hard stuff to you?"

"I read it in a forum," said Yuki.

apologies to Lewis Carroll

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