Killstick Queen to the tune of "Killer Queen"

He keeps a Heckler & Koch concealed
In his Kevlar underwear;
"Let them eat lead," he says,
"If they find where I keep the spare!"
So lovely and sparkle-y,
So deadly and darkle-y,
He's everywhere, an apparition
You'll never see

Crossbows and poison darts,
Well-trained in deadly arts
(Lots more zeal than smarts):

Chorus:
He's a Killstick Queen
Semtex and gelignite
A bijin with a laser light
Guaranteed to shoot on sight
Dyn-o-mite!

Extra deadly for a price,
Makes a virtue out of vice,
Ain't he nice?

He ran into some trouble
Before he got that pretty face,
Pulled from the rubble
After some girl put him in his place:
Facially destructive,
Needing hours reconstructive,
With the results, naturally,
Totally attractive!

In red leather sharply dressed,
Stalks the streets like one possessed,
Maniacal and obsessed:

(Chorus)

Like a shadow he's dressed in black
In a heartbeat he's at your back
Then momentarily out of sight,
Momentarily he'll attack
To absolutely kill you dead, dead...
He's all out to get you

(Chorus)

Extra deadly for a price,
Makes a virtue out of vice,
Ain't he nice?
Extra nice...

(Apologies to Queen)

Killer Queen

She keeps Möet et Chandon
In her pretty cabinet
"Let them eat cake" she says
Just like Marie Antoinette
A built-in remedy
For Khrushchev and Kennedy
At anytime an invitation
You can't decline

Caviar and cigarettes
Well-versed in etiquette
Extraordinarily nice

(Chorus:)
She's a killer queen
Gunpowder, gelatine
Dynamite with a laser beam
Guaranteed to blow your mind
Anytime!

Recommended at the price
Insatiable an appetite
Wanna try?

To avoid complications
She never kept the same address
In conversation
She spoke just like a baroness
Met a man from China
Went down to geisha minah
Then again incidentally
If you're that way inclined

Perfume came naturally from Paris
For cars she couldn't care less
Fastidious and precise

(Chorus)

Drop of a hat she's as willing as
Playful as a pussy cat
Then momentarily out of action
Temporarily out of gas
To absolutely drive you wild, wild..
She's all out to get you

(Chorus)

Recommended at the price
Insatiable an appetite
Wanna try?
You wanna try...

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