Down at the Auld Lang Syne

Smurd sat towards the back of bar, accompanied only by a cheese plate, a large glass, and a half-empty bottle of Oban. Ever since the disastrous events of the last MegaTokyo Highland Gathering had left him scarred inside and outside, he hesitated on getting involved. And what they said! About haggis, and chili -- nature's perfect foods! He filled his glass again and opened his notebook. "Let the youth have their fun," he thought, "I'm staying right here,..."

Down at the Auld Lang Syne to the tune of "Sunset Grill"

Let's hang out in the Auld Lang Syne
We can watch the M.T. factions fight
Watch these crazy people gearin' up to rumble
All lit up by the neon night
But right here, we're back in the Auld Countrie
To me, it's just as good...
I wouldn't go home, if I could

Down at the Auld Lang Syne
Down at the Auld Lang Syne
Down at the Auld Lang Syne
Down at the Auld Lang Syne

They use a lot more haggis in these clashes
It's the kind that burns your skin like mace
It's hard to watch such a noble thing thrown with no dignity
And hard to see if it gets in your face
These kids, they don't know from nothin'
But I'm gonna keep my place

Down at the Auld Lang Syne
Down at the Auld Lang Syne
Down at the Auld Lang Syne
Down at the Auld Lang Syne

It starts out as innocent roleplay
And gets less innocent every day
Ah, sweet booze, I'm gonna stick by you,
Until the day when they're gonna throw me outta here

Let's stay put in the Auld Lang Syne
And watch as the M.T. factions fight
Watch those crazy f---ers suitin' up to rumble
All lit up by the neon night
Baby, you can get involved
Me, I got scars enough for three
Sometimes it's better just to watch, anyway
Besides, this drink's on me

Down at the Auld Lang Syne
Down at the Auld Lang Syne
Down at the Auld Lang Syne
Down at the Auld Lang Syne

(Apologies to Don Henley)

Sunset Grill

Let's go down to the Sunset Grill
We can watch the working girls go by
Watch the basket cases walk around and mumble
And stare out at the auburn sky
There's an old man there from the Old World
To him, it's all the same
Calls all his customers by name

Down at the Sunset Grill
Down at the Sunset Grill
Down at the Sunset Grill
Down at the Sunset Grill

You see a lot more meanness in the city
It's the kind that eats you up inside
Hard to come away with anything that feels like dignity
Hard to get home with any pride
These days a man makes you somethin'
And you never see his face

Down at the Sunset Grill
Down at the Sunset Grill
Down at the Sunset Grill
Down at the Sunset Grill

Respectable little murders pay
They get more respectable every day
Don't worry girl, I'm gonna stick by you
And someday soon we're gonna get in that car and get outa here

Let's go down to the Sunset Grill
Watch the girls go by
Watch the basket cases walk around and mumble
And gaze out at the auburn sky
Maybe we'll leave come springtime
Meanwhile, have another beer
What would we do without all these jerks anyway?
Besides, all our friends are here

Down at the Sunset Grill
Down at the Sunset Grill
Down at the Sunset Grill
Down at the Sunset Grill