Types: Filk
Fie on Fangirls!
(to Fie on Goodness)

(all)
Fie on fangirls, fie!
Fie on fangirls, fie!
Eighteen glompings happen here daily
Always followed by shoujo, everywhere!
Have to resist the urge for melee
Stripped 'til we're bare,
Gad, it's a scare!
Oh, fie on fangirls, fie!
Fie, fie, fie!

It's been a hazard every day, (derry down, derry down)
And getting worse in every way (derry down, derry down)

(Bishie 1)
Oh, but to be able to stand up 'gainst their shoujo charms,
Or even to take up arms . . .

(all)
Oh, fie on fangirls, fie!
Fie, fie, fie, fie, fie!

(Bishie 1)
When I think of the tourments that have been inflected upon my mind
Lolly lo, lolly lo
I run quickly to whatever shelter I maybe perchance might find
Lolly lo, lolly lo
But it never does any good
And I can't say I thought it would
As they stampede my way, the last thing I say
Is "I wish I could . . ."

(all)
Fie on fangirls, fie!
Fie on fangirls, fie!

(Bishie 2)
Etiquette and poise have been arrested! (Arrested!)
Not a bishie is ever safe from harm!
Clothes-theft continues, unprotested (Unprotested!)

(all)
Cause an alarm,
Thought we would warn ya
Fie on fangirls, fie!
Fie, fie, fie, fie, fie!

(Bishie 3)
How we roamed and rolled back home, where
All the girls were mannered well
And when glomping was done, back home,
It was by soft-spoken belles

Oh, my heart still resides back home
Where the girls would never dare,
On the lovely hilside, back home
To steal all your under--

(all)
Fie on your home, fie!
Fie on your home, fie!

No one respects your privacy, here
They do to you whatever things they wish
Every one of us wants to flee here
When we hear, "Trish!
Let's get that bish!"

Oh, fie on fangirls, fie!
Fie, fie, fie!

There's not a thing that you can do,
Derry down, derry down,
When they decide to latch to you,
Derry down, derry down.

(Bishie 1)
Oh, but to lie upon my bed and know that the next day
Fangirls would not come my way!


(all)
Oh, fie on glompings, fie!
Fie on clothes-theft, fie!
Fie on cuteness!
Fie on fangirls!

Fie, fie, fie, fie, fie!

----
Fie on Goodness
from Camelot

KNIGHTS:
Fie on goodness! Fie!
Fie on goodness! Fie!
Eight years of kindness to your neighbour,
Making sure that the meek are treated well,
Eight years of philanthropic labor,
Derry-down-dell, gad, but it's hell!
Oh, fie on goodness! Fie!
Fie! Fie! Fie!
It's been depressing all the way
(Derry-down, derry-down)
And getting glummer ev'ry day.
(Derry down, derry down)
Ah, but to burn a little town or slay a dozen men,
Anything to laugh again!
Oh, fie on goodness! Fie!
Fie! Fie! Fie! Fie! Fie!

SOLO 1:
When I think of the rollicking pleasures that earlier filled my life
(Lolly-lo, lolly-lo)
Like the time I beheaded a man who was beating his naked wife.

KNIGHTS:
(Lolly-lo, lolly lo!)

SOLO 1:
I can still hear his widow say,
Never moving from where she lay:
"Tell me, what can I do,
I beg, sir, of you,
Your kindness to repay?"...

KNIGHTS:
Fie on goodness! Fie!
Fie on goodness! Fie!
Lechery and vice have been arrested,
Not a maiden is evermore in threat.
Virgins may wander unmolested!
Lolly-lo-let, gad, it's a sweat!
Oh, fie on goodness! Fie!
Fie! Fie! Fie! Fie! Fie!

SOLO 2:
[During this solo, the other knights imitate the sound of bagpipes]

How we roared and brawled in Scotland!
Not a law was aye obeyed!
And when wooing called in Scotland,
We'd grab any passing maid.
Ah, my heart is still in Scotland
Where the lasses woo the best,
On some bonny hill in Scotland,
Stroking someone's bonny--

KNIGHTS:
[interrupting]

Fie on Scotland! Fie!
Fie on Scotland! Fie!
No one repents for any sin now,
Ev'ry soul is immaculate and trim.
No one is covered with chagrin now,
Nonny-no-nim, gad, but it's grim!
Oh, fie on goodness! Fie!
Fie! Fie! Fie!
There's not a folly to deplore.
(Derry-down, derry-down)
Confession Sunday is a bore.
(Derry-down, derry down)
Ah, but to spend a tortured evening staring at the floor,
Guilty and alove once more!
Oh, fie on virtue! Fie!
Fie on mercy! Fie!
Fie on justice!
Fie on goodness!
Fie! Fie! Fie! Fie! Fie!


[from The Bishie hijack in OLSAL4 -ed]

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