Peerless plums near Piney Flats,
(Fermented 'til the juices rich
Dribble down in drips and splats),
Go into making slivovitz.
But woe! A drought in Piney Flats
Has withered peerless plums to pits,
And nowhere can they find the fat
And juicy fruits for slivovitz!
Now hardship rules in Piney Flats,
The town must issue ration chits
To all the folk, in order that
They have their share of slivovitz.
And Donald Trump in Piney Flats
Had turned to counterfeiting chits,
That he might buy up all the casks
Remaining of that slivovitz.
The tragedy in Piney Flats
Has struck poor Mr Gerhard Spitz,
Who must go back to sucking rats
Instead of drinking slivovitz.
All around in Piney Flats
The vagrants beg for extra chits,
A brand new southern underclass,
Deprived of drinking slivovitz.
"What shall we do in Piney Flats?"
The people cry in starts and fits,
"We're overplagued with spiny bats,
"And Trump has all our slivovitz!"
And then there came to Piney Flats
A Piper Pied (not "pie-d" you nits!),
Who led a thundering herd of cats
Into the Land of Slivovitz.
"I'll help the folk of Piney Flats
"To once again drink slivovitz!"
Above the mews of hungry cats
The Piper Pied had shouted this!
So now the cats of Piney Flats
Rolled giant furballs through their midst,
That choked the swarms of spiny bats
That plagued the place of slivovitz.
They gamboled then through Piney Flats,
Across the roofs they leapt and flipped,
And cornered Donald Trump at last
Among his casks of slivovitz.
"Oh spare me, folk of Piney Flats,"
The brandy mogul cried and kicked,
As he was stalked by angry cats,
And hid behind the slivovitz.
"If from the folk of Piney Flats
"You wish for mercy, then do this:"
The Piper Pied said matter-of-fact,
"Return those casks of slivovitz!"
"Take them back to Piney Flats!"
Said Trump with an unhappy hiss,
"I truly rue the ill-day that
"I ever heard of slivovitz!"
The Piper Pied said "Not so fast!
"Some peerless plums from Limerick
"You must import to Piney Flats,
"So they may make their slivovitz!"
The citizens of Piney Flats
Then went into ecstatic fits,
For now they could at long, long last
Make more of their good slivovitz!
And in the town of Piney Flats
The now redeemed and happy Spitz
Wept tears of joy that no more rats
Must he incur, but slivovitz!
And Mr Trump in Piney Flats
Is now revered a little bit,
For bringing peerless plums in sacks,
They toast him with their slivovitz!
The 'hamster this thread did revive
And folk like C-kun kept alive
These very verses I prefered
First started by the peerless smurd!