_Kimiko's Teddybear_

A day after tommorow,
Kimiko will stare at the bedroom wall
and tell her teddy bear a new story,

a story she made up in her own head,
one that she's never told anyone else,
because she wrote it up about herself.

In the story Kimiko tumbles out
to her teddy bear in the afternoon,
while she's looking away from the mirror,

Kimiko is coming back from her job,
in a t-shirt and jeans, and this chic coat
she saw in a window the other day...

coming back from her not-waitressing job,
and on the train, nobody gets grop'ed,
and at home, there are no bills in the mail,

and the whole refrigerator is full,
and Erika is making Mizo soup,
with the sun shining into their kitchen:

And it's about who's happy to see her,
about her being happy to see him,
about knowing as they huggle closely

that he's enjoying the air off her hair,
feeling the curve of the small of her back
as she relaxes.

And it's public displays of affection,
and about love together in private
and making Erika-chan roll her eyes

when they greet each other
after a long weekend
with their sloppy kisses.

It's about how he smells like home
and like chocolate
and like roses

and the way that he wonders
how she always seems to know
when he's trying to suprise her,

as if that terrible anticipatory grin
did not by itself
promise many things of beauty.

Here, Kimiko pauses in her story,
as a neighbor walk by, and recalls:
"Anything that is made of chocolate

is good and useful," and smiles to herself,
and continues on telling her story
about the ways that her people love her --

and she wonders, sometimes,
if she should pity the fanboys,
whose love is such a small thing,

compared to the way he looks at her
in the morning
before she showers

and how hard he tries
undeterred by failure
to arrange a "perfect date"

and how she won't ever tell him
that his process
is her perfection.

Kimiko takes a long time
to tell her teddy bear her story
and when she's done

she puts him back on the shelf
with the rest of her dreams
and wonders if she can afford supper.


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