Our bibulous Un-Hero, having travelled to Japan and fallen under mysterious Miho's spell, is led by her beneath the Earth into a Den of Iniquity, which is filled with strange Demons (or p'raps they're Ravers -- who can tell the Difference?). Is he in Hell? When will he get his next Beer? How much Techno can he take? What excuses will the Author make, just so's he can prattle on about the lovely Lady's appearance?




The wedding-guest made a request:
"How 'bout a Comfort-Break?
I've drunk a tad: my bladder's had
About all it can take!"

This wedding-guest became depressed;
As he realised his error;
There was no stopping this old fart—
The guest should not have let him start,
This iron-bladder'd Drinkere!

"I'd found my Albatross, I've said:
That's not quite true, I tell ye.
More like my Fate had sought me out—
My Albatross had found me.

"She smiled her half-smile once again,
And said, 'My name is Miho...'
'What cheek!' thought I, 'this Siren speaks
Both English and Nihongo!'

"She held her glance, but asked of me
(To put me at my ease?),
'D'you prefer that we confer
In English, or Japanese?'

"Her voice was soft and musical,
Like bell chimes pentatonic;
Harmonics danc'd upon my ear
Like gamelans rhapsodic!

"That very name was magical:
Beautiful fire it meant, [1]
Too smitten, I, to recognize
It was as warning sent.

"At length she spake: 'I know a place
You really ought to see…'
Abandon'd I all thought of Fear—
Abandon'd, even, thought of Beer!—
Good sense abandoned me!

"Her lithe-limbed form, I noticed then
As we went to-and-fro-ing,
Contained no nonsense in its stride:
She knew whence she was going.

"In tasteful 'distress' she was clothed:
A skirt and jacket leathern,
A belt equipp'd with metal pips
Encircled her distracting hips
In sombre colours weathern.

"From dark brown black-beribbon'd hair
I smelt faint parfum round her;
It reminded me of maybells sweet
…or was it belladonna?

"As we walked though Ginza's streets
I felt my will ring hollow,
My lovely Albatross would lead,
And I, poor fool, would follow:

"Street after street, street after street;
We moved through brisk commotion
That one expects of city life
On this side of the Ocean.

"In dreamlike state she led me on
'Twixt Temples medieval:
Nine flights down I follow'd her,
Down to "The Cave of Evil."

"This cavern shook to thund'ring beats
Of drums 'n' bass 'n' techno,
I heard that giddy Goa Trance
(at least it wasn't disco!). [2]

"The joint was pack'd with revelers
Down on the dance floor sunken,
Their frantic dance betrayed no joy,
They stumbled as though drunken:

"They twist and shout! They writhe about,
These ravers danc'd all night;
The skin and hair gave me a scare,
Dyed green and blue and white!

"Ravers, ravers, every where,
And how the walls did shake!
Ravers, ravers, every where,
Yet no-one yelled 'Earthquake!'

When Miho stepp'd into their midst
Their Energy was sapp'd:
Their full attention drawn towards her,
Their senses new enrapt.

At her approach did ravers part
Like the Red Sea did for Moses;
Thro' the sound, from all around
I sensed profound psychosis.

With their attention focused thus
I felt my thumbs a-pricking:
All through this herd, the sound was heard
Of every Eye-Ball clicking!

"O me O my! what Evil-Eyes
Had I from young, and younger,
On seeing this lovely girl — and I,
The object of her hunger!

"O my O me! A fool I be,
My fate is surely tragick;
I'm caught up in this web she's spun
Of her seductive magick!"



[1] Click the Japanese Keyword in Romaji radio button; type miho in the KEYWORD field; select the enamdict dictionary file from the pull-down control; click the Begin Search button. The one I'm using is the fourth one down. It's almost certainly an incorrect use on my part; but it's JUST TOO GOOD NOT TO USE AND I HEREBY CLAIM POETIC LICENTIOUSNESS!!

[2] I was in high school during those dark days; so I know. This was also before the craft beer movement began in the U.S., so nightclubbing was a grim activity indeed.

Honourable disclaimer.
Apologies to Samuel Taylor Coleridge. The original "The Rime of the Ancyent Mariner" is too long to quote in full, hence the link, but please try it.

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