Well, for some reason Christmas Wrapping by the Waitresses has always been my favourite Christmas song, so I couldn't resist filking it. How it came to be Largo doing the singing I'm not sure, but it seems to work.

Christmas Fragging
Sung by Largo

"Ha! Pwnz0r3d!" Was that too harsh?
Well, it is my fave activity
But even Quakefests lose their charm
When none can hope to challenge me

I need a foe to match my skillz
So as it's 'tis the season
The perfect gift for me would be
Competiton and challenge left from

Last week, dance club
Encounter most exciting
Had the weapons but never the time
Most of Sunday night passed along those lines

So much to do, fighting zombies
Hardly time to grab a b33r,
I just need to take a break,
Xmas on my own this year.

Piro's drawing frozen landscapes,
Looks like he's gone soft again,
Endless reams, sad girls in snow
Get this angst cr4p over with!

Flashback to Monday, saw her again,
Her minion challenged me to dance,
Couldn't agree if she won or me,
Lost track of her in all the rush

Saw her again the following day,
Skipping my class, did I teach her a lesson?
No, this time wasn't to be,
Fainting spells chilling to see.

Now it's nearly Xmas time
But I can't say I'm excited
Without my nemesis to face
My noble schemes are thwarted.

Mega Xmas! Mega Xmas!
But I think I'll miss this 1 this y34r.
Mega Xmas! Mega Xmas!
But I think I'll miss this 1 this y34r.
Mega Xmas! Mega Xmas!
But I think I'll miss this 1 this y34r.
Mega Xmas! Mega Xmas!
But I think I'll miss this 1 this y34r.

Hamster's dashing through the snow
Boo's out on a date tonight
I'm stuck here modding my 'core
A few cards a few chips
Make it L-E-E-T,
High speed, with flashing lights,
No telling when she could attack
Make sure that my firewall's tight

Wednesday I went back to the arcade
Same girl challenged me again
Fought her at Super Moe Moe
This time I was just too slow

Admit it, I lost, it's not too late,
Time for me to play some Quake
Hone my l33t skillz, my mind
Sure I'll get it right next time.

AMD has provided me
With the world's fastest PC
Beowulf cluster's far too hot
Oh d4mn! Guess what I 4got?

So on with some clothes, back out in the cold
To the nearest all-night b00zery,
When who do I spy as I'm searching for b33r,
It's that cut3 3vil girl I've been chasing in ph34r!

"I'm spending tonight alone," she said.
"Need a break, this week's been crazy."
I said "Me too, but why are you?
Did j00 4get canned brewskies too?"

We smiled and dashed out hand in hand,
1-Yen arcade our destination
MegaTokyo's magic's brought us to
Our epic confrontation!

Mega Xmas! Mega Xmas!
Couldn't miss this 1 this y34r!
Mega Xmas! Mega Xmas!
Couldn't miss this 1 this y34r!


Original lyrics:

Christmas Wrapping by the Waitresses

"Bah, humbug!" No, that's too strong
'Cause it is my favorite holiday
But all this year's been a busy blur
Don't think I have the energy

To add to my already mad rush
Just 'cause it's 'tis the season.
The perfect gift for me would be
Completions and connections left from

Last year, ski shop,
Encounter, most interesting.
Had his number but never the time
Most of '81 passed along those lines.

So deck those halls, trim those trees
Raise up cups of Christmas cheer,
I just need to catch my breath,
Christmas by myself this year.

Calendar picture, frozen landscape,
Chilled this room for twenty-four days,
Evergreens, sparkling snow
Get this winter over with!

Flashback to springtime, saw him again,
Would've been good to go for lunch,
Couldn't agree when we were both free,
We tried, we said we'd keep in touch.

Didn't, of course, 'til summertime,
Out to the beach to his boat could I join him?
No, this time it was me,
Sunburn in the third degree.

Now the calendar's just one page
And, of course, I am excited
Tonight's the night, but I've set my mind
Not to do too much about it.

Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I'll miss this one this year.
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I'll miss this one this year.
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I'll miss this one this year.
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I'll miss this one this year.

Hardly dashing through the snow
Cause I bundled up too tight
Last minute have-to-do's
A few cards a few calls
'Cause it's r-s-v-p
No thanks, no party lights
It's Christmas Eve, gonna relax
Turned down all of my invites.

Last fall I had a night to myself,
Same guy called, halloween party,
Waited all night for him to show,
This time his car wouldn't go,

Forget it, it's cold, it's getting late,
Trudge on home to celebrate
In a quiet way, unwind
Doing Christmas right this time.

A&P has provided me
With the world's smallest turkey
Already in the oven, nice and hot
Oh damn! Guess what I forgot?

So on with the boots, back out in the snow
To the only all-night grocery,
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
In the line is that guy I've been chasing all year!

"I'm spending this one alone," he said.
"Need a break; this year's been crazy."
I said, "Me too, but why are you?
You mean you forgot cranberries too?"

Then suddenly we laughed and laughed
Caught on to what was happening
That Christmas magic's brought this tale
To a very happy ending! "

Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
Couldn't miss this one this year!
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
Couldn't miss this one this year!

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