I Saw Dom Assaulting Santa Claus to the tune of "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"
I saw Dom assaulting Santa Claus
After Santa's sleigh broke down last night;
Yes, he grabbed him by the beard,
And "Hand it over, Claus," he sneered,
He pistol-whipped Saint Nick and grabbed his sack and disappeared!
So why did Dom assault poor Santa Claus
And leave the guy in such a dreadful state?
'Cos he brought Dom sticks and coal,*
And the kid just lost control, so don't f--- with Dom, so full of hate!
I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night;
She didn't see me creep
Down the stairs to have a peep;
She thought that I was tucked up in my bedroom fast asleep!
Then I saw Mommy tickle Santa Claus
Underneath his beard so snowy white;
Oh what a laugh it would have been
If Daddy had only seen Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night!
* I'm sure our European friends recognize the old custom of Kris Kringl, Père Noël, etc. putting sticks and coal in the stockings of baaad little boys and girls.