Shades of Grey

Song: "Shades of Grey", by Billy Joel.
Subject: Izuko, from the "What Now?" and "Shattered Minds" RP threads. Oh, and some C-kun (as a tangent subject), whee.

Some material taken from the thread entries. Sorry. ^^;

Wow, it's been a while since I've done one of these. So, pardon if it sucks more than usual. ^^;




Some things were perfectly clear, seen with the vision of youth
No doubts and nothing to fear, I claimed the corner on truth
These days it's harder to say I know what I'm fighting for
My faith is falling away
I'm not that sure anymore

"He what?" Iain Caduceus cried, nearly coughing on his tea.

"He resigned," Erika replied, almost too calmly. Caduceus could tell she was upset, though her usual stoic mask never slipped. "I told him I wouldn't accept it, but there's really not much I can do to make him stay. I believe he's already cleaned out his office."

C-kun stood in Erika's office, where she'd called him shortly before. Now he frowned. "Alright. What do you want me to do about it?"

Erika raised an eyebrow. "I don't want you to do anything. I though you might appreciate being informed that the executive vice-president, who is really the reason you have a job here, quit."

C-kun twitched a little. "Ah. Well, in that case, thank you. I do appreciate it. Will that be all?"

Erika nodded, and C-kun turned to leave. Then a thought struck him, and he turned back. "Hayasaka-sama?"

"Yes, Caduceus?" She looked up from the paperwork she'd already turned her attention to.

"What do you intend to do about the VP position? Izuko did a great deal of work; I hope you're not planning on trying to do it all yourself." C-kun regarded her steadily.

Erika returned her attention to the paperwork. "I'm considering who I want to move up to fill the position."

"I assume the leading candidates are myself and the Hamster?" C-kun asked, a hint of curiosity in his voice.

"The Hamster, certainly," Erika looked back up at him, quirking an eyebrow. "You, on the other hand... while Izuko and I did not always agree on matters, I could always count on him to abide by my decisions. That quality is one you have yet to demonstrate, Caduceus."

He left, then, excusing himself. Conflicting emotions vied for control over his mind; Lady Erika was right, of course. But the hurt was still there.

And then, this business with Izuko. Of all the people in EM, Caduceus had thought he would've been the last person to resign. And yet -

Shades of grey wherever I go
The more I find out the less that I know
Black and white is how it should be
But shades of grey are the colors I see

Izuko stared at the ceiling of his apartment for a long while.

Everything seemed grey.

Once there were trenches and walls and one point of every view
Fight 'til the other man falls
Kill him before he kills you
These days the edges are blurred, I'm old and tired of war
I hear the other man's words
I'm not that sure anymore

Izuko talked to Manta, at the Church, trying to see if he had wrecked anything the other night.

He hadn't. Manta even offered him the use of the Church dorms - don't brood in the familiar surroundings. Get out, look around. Accept all this change.

He heard himself mutter something about joining the Church. Clarity came, and he focused on the decision.

He wanted love. Acceptance.

An end to loneliness.

He took the CoM initiate pendant. The pendant seemed to accept him.

Shades of grey are all that I find
When I come to the Erika [1] line
Black and white was so easy for me
But shades of grey are the colors I see

Now with the wisdom of years I try to reason things out
And the only people I fear are those who never have doubts
Save us all from arrogant men, and all the causes they're for
I won't be righteous again
I'm not that sure anymore

Sure, he had been accepted at Erika Multinational. He had worked at her side for years, helped manage the corporation. He had been a good worker.

But not good enough.... because she-

Grey was all he could see.

After all. Loneliness is the color of grey...

Once, he had heard a story. He couldn't remember where, or how many years had passed since he had heard it; but it was a story, about a knight who wanted to rescue a princess.

The knight had wanted to rescue this princess, ever since he had learnt about her. But, the day of the rescue preparations, he realized that the princess did not need him. She had long since broken out of her prison. And his purpose in life was no more.

Shades of grey wherever I go
The more I find out the less that I know
Ain't no rainbows shining on me
Shades of grey are the colors I see

Now the knight had to find his own reason to live. His own purpose, his own dream.

Now Izuko had to find his own purpose, his own dream...