One of the all-time champion drunk sing-along songs is Bob Dylan's Rainy Day Women # 12 & 35. That's the one that ends every verse with the refrain:

But I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody must get stoned.


Even if you've never heard the song before, you can see from the lyrics how much fun it is to sing. But last time I heard this sung, I kept hearing:

But I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody must get ownzed!


Now let's face it - the ones who do all the "ownage" in MegaTokyo are the girls, hands-down! So I produced the following two verses of filk:

Sad Snowy Girls # 1 through 7
(to the music of honky-tonk piano and trumpet )

Largo
Well, they'll ownz ya when they see ya on the str33t, [99]
They'll ownz ya when you're tryin to be so l33t, [169]
They'll ownz ya when they aren't even real, [21]
They'll ownz ya when you're tryin' to cop a feel, [23]
But I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody must get ownzed!

Piro
Well, they'll ownz ya when you're talkin' on the phone, [298]
They'll ownz ya when you thought you were alone, [339]
They'll ownz ya when you're sweepin' off the street, [311]
They'll ownz ya when you were tryin' to read, [44]
But I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody must get ownzed!

Now, I've had no trouble coming up with episodes to put into this filk, but I was thinking it might be fun to get other folks into the act. So if anyone is game, the ground rules are simple - produce at least two rhyming lines in which one of our heroes gets "ownzed", and provide links to the relevant comics. And here's hopin' there's someone else who will like the idea!
Types:
Dom, Ed, and Asmodeus
Well, they'll ownz ya when you walk into a room [252] and [255]
They'll ownz ya when you're tryin' to bring them doom [378]
They'll ownz ya when you're standing in a store [332]
They'll ownz ya when you're acting like a boor [258]
But I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody must get ownzed!
Types:
Piro
They'll ownz ya when you're tryin' to drink your b33r, [286]
They'll ownz ya when you are showing ph34r, [288]
They'll ownz ya even when they help you out, [254]
They'll ownz ya and won't leave you any doubt, [263]
But I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody must get ownzed!

G'night!
Types:
Largo
Well, they'll ownz ya and they'll get you thrown in jail, [116]
They'll ownz ya when they're hot upon your trail, [141]
They'll ownz ya playin' Super Moe-Moe Ball, [349]
They'll ownz ya even when they take a fall, [237]
But I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody must get ownzed!
Types:
Well, they'll 0wnz j00 when they think you are cute [113]
They'll 0wnz j00 when you share your food [313]
They'll 0wnz j00 and almost get you fired [131]
They'll 0wnz j00 'cause you're a bitch when you're tired [310]
But I would not feel so all alone
Everybody must get 0wnzed

[edit: Fixed 3rd link. Thank you, Shoka]
Types:
Piro
Well, they'll ownz ya when you just want to eat, 29
They'll ownz ya when you try to be sweet, 358
They'll ownz ya when you get set up, SGV1
They'll ownz ya when you're out of luck, SGV5
But I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody must get ownzed!
Types:
Largo,Kimiko,Piro,Yuki-chan
Largo: Well, they'll ownz ya when J00're tryin' to do your work [154]
Kimiko: They'll ownz ya when their acting like a jerk, [371]
Piro: They'll ownz ya when you're only there to talk, [358]
Yuki: They'll ownz ya when you're out there for a walk [94]
But I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody must get ownzed!
Types:
Fred getz 0wnzed

Well, they'll 0wnz j00 with a throw of a brick [132]
They'll 0wnz j00 when you spell like a hick [361]
They'll 0wnz j00 'cause you won't draw them nude [266]
They'll 0wnz j00 with a caped ninja dude [328]
But I would not feel so all alone
Everybody must get 0wnzed


On my last post in this thread, I mistakenly linked to [131] instead of [358].
Types:
Piro, Trent Oster, Inspector Sonoda, Boo
They'll ownz ya when you're goin' on retreat, [209]
They'll ownz ya when you're talkin' on TV, [200]
They'll ownz ya when you're workin as a cop, [363]
They'll ownz ya when you're tryin' to do your job, [121]
But I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody must get ownzed!
Types:
Piro:
They'll 0wnz j00 when you're wearing ears & tails... [110]
They'll 0wnz j00 when you're trying to make a sale... [92]
They'll 0wnz j00 when you're working at the store... [334]
They'll 0wnz j00 with an accidental lap-pour...[358]
But I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody must get ownzed!
Types:
Sonada, Asmodeus, Ed:
They'll ownz ya when you try to save the town, [362]
They'll ownz ya when you try to gun them down, [300]
They'll ownz ya by hurling you through space, [278]
Then they'll ownz ya with a turtle in the face, [378]
But I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody must get ownzed!
Types:
Piro
Well, they'll ownz ya when you're talkin' at a con, [142]
They'll ownz ya even when you're not around, [135]
They'll ownz ya when you're havin' naughty thoughts, [47] and [48]
They'll ownz ya when you're foot goes in your mouth, [128]
But I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody must get ownzed!
Types:
Shoka, C-kun, Psieye, Draegos
Well, j00 ownz them with your verses smooth as silk,
j00 ownz them when you post another filk,
j00 ownz them with your Speculation list,
j00 ownz them when you defend your little miss,
But I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody must get ownzed!

Larom, e-Monk, Meagan, McF
Well, j00 ownz them with your CG'd avatars,
j00 ownz them when you make a rodent a star,
j00 ownz them when you roleplay to the hilt,
j00 ownz them with your bagpipes and your kilt,
But I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody must get ownzed!

SGVetinari, JB, Sabyr, -Snow-
Well, j00 ownz them when you try to make us hurl,
j00 ownz them when you defend the robot girl,
j00 ownz them when you speculate with finess,
j00 ownz them with n00bie drunkenness,
But I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody must get ownzed!

mzacher,Nightwalker, WoK, S4b!||F!g4r0
Well, j00 ownz them with your colored Fredart,
j00 ownz them for taking Miho's part,
j00 ownz them with your skittles and good cheer,
j00 ownz them for serving us all b33r,
But I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody must get ownzed!

ph00tbag, raykremer,smurd, KPC
Well, j00 ownz them with the Dance of Studded Planks
j00 ownz them with the Reader's Guide, many thanks,
j00 ownz them with verse that inspires all of us,
j00 ownz them with the Cult of Asmodeus,
But I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody must get ownzed!

And a little verse parody to finish up ...

One Forum to obsess them all,
One Forum to guide them,
One Forum to bring them all,
and in the internet unite them,
In Megatoyko, where the girls are kawaii.
Types:
Now that I'm apparently famous (thanks Ancestral Hamster) I thought a quick tribute to forum newbies (and the Drinking Game) was in order. Just off the top of my head ...

Well, they ownz j00 for your new Love Hina thread
They ownz j00 when you say the Goth's undead
They ownz j00 cos you start the Drinking Game
They ownz j00 though it seems they're all insane
But I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody must get ownzed!


There might be another verse in this ... and here it is:

Well, they ownz j00 when you say that you are new
They ownz j00 when you ask for the girls nude
They ownz j00 when your post is all in l33t
They ownz j00 every time you try to speak
But I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody must get ownzed!


May there forever be newbies in the Forum. We love you.

Sabyr
AncestralHamster, JRandomLurker, telliamed, kenshin
j00 ownz them with your list of Beatles threads,
j00 ownz them with the bird perched on your head,
j00 ownz them 'cuz you made the drinking game,
j00 ownz them when you slash the guys who flame,
But I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody must get ownzed!

Rowan, Mintaka, _Quinn, DWC
j00 ownz them with your elegant haiku,
j00 ownz them with the haiku j00 do too,
j00 ownz them with your rampant speculations,
j00 ownz them with your sarky reputation,
But I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody must get ownzed!
all would-be Nihongists
Well, j00 ownz them 'cos j00 know some Japanese
j00 ownz them 'cos j00 read manga with ease;
They ownz j00 when they dare to ask j00 why,
But j00 ownz 'em jus' because j00 dared to try!
But I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody must get ownzed!

all forum versifiers
Well, j00 ownz 'em 'cos you can converse in v3rs3
j00 ownz 'em tho' they think d4t d4t's p3rv3rs3
They ownz j00 when j00r out of R0mil4r,
But j00 ownz 'em jus' because j00r what j00 R!
But I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody must get ownzed!
Types:
Gameru, Largo
Well,they'll ownz ya when you mess their hair, [376]
They'll ownz ya when they play with flair, [349]
They'll ownz ya when you're teaching class, [154]
They'll ownz ya when you touch their ... *Ahem* [329]
But I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody must get ownzed!
Types:
mzacher, shoka, psieye, miho tohya
Well, j00 0wnz us when you CG DPD's
j00 0wnz us with j00r 3-l33t poetry
j00 0wnz us with j00r speculation thread
j00 0wnz us as the Qu33n of t3h und34d!
But I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody must get ownzed!
Types:
Sarah
She'll ownz ya with little paper squares! [origami]
She'll ownz ya and say "who cares??" [69]
She'll ownz ya comin' down the stairs! [85]
She'll ownz ya and the local bears! [148]
She'll ownz ya with her kitchen grease! [224]
She'll ownz ya and her little niece! [316]
She'll ownz ya till you've said your piece! [337]
She'll ownz ya as you show your cares [373]

But I would not feel so all alone,
Fred my buddy, you are ownzed!

(and lucky too!)
Types:
Sarah
She'll ownz ya when you apologize 297 (3rd frame)
She'll ownz ya as she cuts your 'issues' down to size 297 (6th frame)
But I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody must get ownzed!
Types:
Largo & Dom
They ownz ya when you have so many guns,
They ownz ya when you try to finish them off,
They ownz ya when you're oh so drunk,
They ownz ya when you take off in a run,
But I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody must get ownzed!
Types:
Shoka's Not-a-Penguin cartoons.
Well, j00 ownz them with banana cream pie,
j00 ownz them even when you're gonna die,
j00 ownz them when they're trying to snuggle,
j00 ownz them when you're getting cuddled,
But I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody must get ownzed!
Types:
fanboyz
They'll ownz ya when they stun you with kawaii, [107]
They'll ownz ya just because you are a guy, [72]
They'll ownz ya when you grope them on the train, [125]
They'll ownz ya when you get too close again, [24]
But I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody must get ownzed!
Types:
MT at Sakuracon
They'll 0wnz ya though Miho makes 'em pause
They'll 0wnz ya sayin' Dom's last name
They'll 0wnz ya with a three-mile line
They'll 0wnz ya with their mad applause
But I would not feel so all alone
Everybody must get 0wnzed!

Can I fit in a stanza of the late-at-night-stuck-my-laundry-in-the-broken-dryer-blues? Didn't think so.

Next!
Types:
Erika Fanboys
Well, she ownz us when she starts to flirt, [341]
She ownz us with those short, short skirts, [334]
She ownz us with her compassionate heart, [140]
She ownz us 'cause she's a work of art, "Grey Erika"
But I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody must get ownzed!

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