Synopsis of Chapter 5

As chapter 5 opens, Seraphim is undergoing delayed post-traumatic stress therapy following her capture and torture by Asmodeus and Belphegor. She wakes up in a cold sweat from dreams in which all of her hair is permanently licked off of her scalp by a large cat. With a particularly eloquent "squeak", Boo confides to Seraphim his secret desire to become a renowned fashion designer. In an effort to earn extra money for the equipment they need, Seraphim and Boo tape several commercials for Post-it, Inc.

At long last, Piro works up the nerve to ask Kimiko for a date. While waiting in line for a show , Piro and Kimiko are accosted by French street-mimes, who took an unfortunate right turn on the way to a cabaret on the left bank. Kimiko provides detailed directions to La Grotte du Mal, but the mimes misunderstand and swim to Manila, where they are asked for their passports.

Kimiko, having tried everything she can think of to get Piro to stop treating her like a nun, resorts to voodoo, with ambiguous results. That evening, Piro has a strange "Holden Caufield"-type dream, in which he becomes the conscience of a cute girl who has been cursed with unruly hair by Asmodeus.

Largo privately admits to Junpei that "l33t" is not really a spoken language, while Junpei reveals the Eightfold Path to Healing Paper Cuts. Afterward they drown their sorrows in beer made from fermented bean curd, made with the finest quality Rocky Mountain spring water (no...wait...that's another abomination).

Ping offers moral support to a depressed toaster. Makoto arrives wearing a "Born to Ride" jacket and hobnailed boots; she suggests that she and Ping form the nucleus of a Tokyo biker gang. They ride off together on a Vespa, leaving Miho to ponder the significance of burnt toast.

Piro and Yuki take a break from drawing lessons and walk over to a local dance club, where Piro helps the l33t d00d re-mix one of his favorite Megadustrial™ tunes. Yuki's father appears on the scene and charges Piro with "contributing to the re-sequencing of A-minor", to his daughter's great distress. On their way to the police station, Inspector Sonoda faces his greatest peril when he attempts to end the unauthorized nocturnal rampages of a giant plush aardvark, whose velcro tongue disturbs the sleep of Tokyo citizens with annoying skritching sounds.

Meanwhile, Tsubasa returns to Japan with his long-lost love, who is Susan Powter's twin sister. They become regulars on a local comedy show called Banzai-Banzai-Banzai. Dom learns, to his dismay, that remaindered CD's can be used as impromptu shuriken. Erika accidently stumbles over Largo's lost "cool thing" while cleaning the store, and knows remorse. Ed falls in love with Gameru's youngest sister, who is still an egg. They run away to Atami, where they manage a small bed-and-breakfast. A malevolent entity is spawned when the coolant system leaks into the insulation in Largo's server, and wreaks havoc throughout the beerrio.

Asako undergoes a magical-girl transformation, stunning the student body with a substantial degree of implied nudity, while filling Daitou Gakuen middle school with pink teddy-bears. Mami watches the action from the safety of a playground swing, and wonders why the word "lachrymose" runs continuously through her mind.

At Kimiko's urging, and through Erika's underground influence, Piro has begun drawing for Sight. In order to give them an authentic "feel" for the characters, the Cubesoft producers arrange for Piro and Kimiko to attend Shiritsu Daitou highschool as students for a week, where they find themselves taking English instruction from Largo. Piro faints from embarrassment when he discovers that he has been seated between Kimiko and Miho.

The TPCD is called in to investigate complaints of a street gang in Meguro. Preliminary reports indicate that they ride Vespas and uproot lampposts. Fanboys at Anna Miller's have been forced to buy pies and cakes for gang members.

As Chapter 5 closes, many questions remain unanswered. Will Ping be allowed to compete in the Athens 2004 Olympic Games, where she is rated as a top contender in the turtle-hurling competition? Is that covered by the Android Rights Act of 1978? Will Junpei discover the secret of the elusive lace-penguin origami, or will he be defeated by the insidious and malevolent Pink Creamy Icing Gang? Will Dom be able to dislodge those painfully inserted CD's himself, or will he be forced to undergo plastic surgery? Will Erika be able to handle her new night job, teaching classes in anger management? Will Boo be able to cope with the heartbreak of mange? And what about Kotone? Stay tuned, boyz 'n gurlz!

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