I do not know why she won't eat,
this oh-too-grown-up girl of mine.
I touch her brow but feel no heat,
I ask her, but she says she's fine.

Into her mirror she does stare,
in search of something she can't see.
She rearranges her long hair,
plays dress-up, with no signs of glee.

Unicorns and fairy queens,
her drawing pad did once adorn.
Now pictures of a different scene;
a gaijin boy with look forlorn.

Fathers dread the flight of their fledgling dove.
Must I give her up? Is Yuki in love?

This was trying to be a sonnet, but the iambic pentameter just wasn't happening. Probably residual haiku, but I liked the lines a little shorter. Sue me, Will.

[ November 11, 2001: Message edited by: Phaedrus ]
Clutching her teddy bear close to her chest,
eyes downcast, forlornly she sits alone.
She hoped returning the sketchbook was best,
but still can't interpret that gaijin's tone.

The first instinct came: curl into a ball,
but embarrasment she knew would follow.
She stood her ground, a brave girl all in all,
choosing to walk the path of her sorrow.

Now Yuki, alone, just stares at her bear,
waiting for her emotions to settle.
Her world falls away, she can't seem to care,
an emotional test of her mettle.

Her father walks in, she's breaking his heart,
Turns her face up, "I'm in love with his art".
[OK, folks, this one's a freebie.]

Yuki, Mami, and Asako are....

the Shangri-Las!

_Artist of the Pack_

Is she really falling in love with him?
Well, there she is. Let's ask her.
Yuki, is that Piro's style you're wearing?
Gee, it must be great drawing with him.
Is he picking you up after school today?
By the way, where'd you meet him?

I met him at the manga store
He turned around and blushed at me,
you get the picture?
Yes, we see.
That's when I fell for the artist of the pack.

<skritch, skritch>

My folks are always putting him down
(down, down)
They say he came from too far out of town
(What do you mean when you say
he came from too far out of town?)
They told me he drew bad
I told them he was sad;
that's when I fell for the artist of the pack.

<skritch, skritch>

One day my dad said: "Find someone new."
I had to tell Piro that we're through
(What do you mean when you say
that you'd better find someone new?)
He stood there and asked me why,
but all I could do was cry,
I'm sorry I hurt you, artist of the pack.

<skritch, skritch>

He sort of smiled, and kissed me goodbye;
the tears were beginning to show.
As he drew away that rainy night,
I begged him to draw slow;
whether he heard, I'll never know.

Look out, look out, look out!

I felt so helpless, what could I do?
Remembering all the things we'd been through
In school they all stop and stare
I can't hide my tears, but I don't care
I'll never forget him, the artist of the pack.

The artist of the pack, now he's drawn outside the lines...
(the lines, the lines)

Everything always
Comes out so wrong
All I want is to understand

Once you've seen
Inside someone -
As he looks at me now, his eyes are veiled
- But I can't just
Look away

Once you've seen
Inside someone
How can you let them go?

I can never find
The right words.

He is so sad
I know that I
Was never supposed to see
(But I saw)
And once you've seen
Inside someone


I don't want to let go.

How can you not
Want to help?
How can you not want to confide
Faced with another
Human's pain
How can you not want them to know you as well?
How can you not
Want to hold them
And be held, not in passion, but
And trust, and a lantern 'gainst the darkness of isolation

Are those
The right words?

Maybe it's simpler than that

He is so sad
And I think
Maybe if I could only understand
Maybe he wouldn't
Be so sad
[Alright, Smurd, I'm handing off the final edits on this one to you. ]

"Are the Girls in Snow Sad Because They're Wearing Uncomfortable Bras?"

A Psycho-Social Analysis

Sonada Yuki, PhD

(Love his art
love his sadness
hold out hope
that he's got the madness
where he would love you too.)

... In sketches 17 - 31, we see a variety of tableaus drawing on the repeated motifs of mittens, benches, train stations, and big, puffy, but suprisingly curvaceous coats...

(Do your hair up
just for him
hold out hope
that you're not too slim
for him to love you too.)

... Other sketches render what appear to be relatively uninformed imaginings of sad girls in their underwear, earlier works showing a distinct tendency towards the hentai style pioneered ...

(Call him a liar
when he talks down his art
hold out hope
that he's playing a part
and loves his work like you do.)

... Girls, perhaps, is not the best word to describe the subjects of these works; 'girl' implies a certain awareness of distinctions in age ...

(Kick his ass
if he looks at Mami like that --
hold out hope
that he looks at you like that --
that he loves you true.)

... Applying techniques from handwriting analysis, and a few specialty Photoshop filters, it is possible to empirically determine those parts of the sketches on which was spent the most time. A sample of professional opinions was taken to control for difficulty ...

(Love his art
love his madness
hold out hope
that he hasn't got his sadness
from wearing an uncomfortable bra.)

[I'm tempted to call this 'Episode 2 Opening Theme,' but I haven't seen enough of it yet... anyway, with my sincere apologies to Meatloaf ... ]

_You would do anything for love_

S->P{1}: And you would do anything for love
you'd go straight to hell and never come back
you would do anything for love
I'd never lie to you, and that's a fact.

S->P: And I'll never forget the way you feel right now
you would do anything for love
but I won't let you
Y->Y: anything for love
I would do anything for love
P->S: I would do anything for love
but I won't do that
I promise you

P->P: Some days I can't draw easy
some days I can't draw hard
some days I can't draw at all
and those are the days that never end

P->Y: Some times you're breathing fire{2}
some times you're carved in ice{3}
some times you're like nothing I've ever drawn before
or will again

P->Y: Maybe I'm crazy
S->P: Yes, you're crazy and it's true
I'm the only one who can save you
no one else can you save now but me

Y->Y: As long as the planet is turning
as long as my heart is yearning
I'll be hoping for my dreams come true

S->P: You'd better believe it
you'd do anything for love
but I'll be there until the last disgrace
you would do anything for love
you should take a vow and seal our pact{4}

Y->Y: "But I'll never forgive myself if I don't [ask him
after school]"{5}
I would do anything for love
P->P: Would I do anything for love?
S->P: You would do anything for love
but I won't let you
do that, not that
Y->Y: I would do anything for love,
it's what I've been dreaming of,
but could I do that?

S->S: Sometimes I pray for silence
sometimes I pray for soul
sometimes I just pray to the God of pencils and inks and manga artists

P->Y: Sometimes I lose the feeling
S->P: Sometimes you lose control
Y->P: Sometimes I just lose it all when I watch you draw and the thunder rolls

P&Y: Maybe I'm only lonely
P: and that's all I'm qualified to be
P&Y: there's just one and only
the one and only promise I can keep

S->P: As long as the wheels are turning
as long as your heart is burning
as long as my reports are ignored
you'd better believe it

that you would do anything for love
and you know it's true and that's a fact
you would do anything for love
and I'll not be coming back

P->S: But I'll never draw better than I do of her
So long
so long
I would do anything for love
Y->Y: I would do anything for love

S->P: You would do anything for love
but I won't let you
do that, not that


Y->P: Well you raise me up?
Will you help me down?
Will you draw me right out of this MegaTokyo{6} town?
Will you make it all a little less cold{7}?

P->Y: I can do that
I can do that

Y->P: Will you hold me sacred?
Will you hold me tight?
Will you colorize{8} my life, I'm so sick of black and white?{9}
Are you sure that you're not too old?

P->Y: I can do that
I can do that

Y->P: Will you draw me somehow magic
with your own two hands?
Can you find an emerald city, in these grains of sand?{0}
Can you draw me -- something I can take home?

P->Y: I can do that
I can do that

S->P: Does she cater to ever fantasy you've got?
Should I hose you down with holy water, if she gets to hot?
Y->P: Will you show me things I've never known?

P->Y: I can do that
I can do that

S->P: After a while, you'll forget everything
It was a brief interlude,
a midwinter's night fling
and you'll see that she's too young

P->S: I won't do that!
I won't do that!

S->P: I've seen the territory -- I've been around
it'll all turn to lust, and you'll both fall down
sooner than later, you'll be screwing around

P->S: No, I won't do that!
It's not like that!

S->P: Anything for love,
you would do anything for love,
she would do anything for love,
but I won't let you
do that, not that.


{1}: Seraphim, Piro, Yuki
{2}: In #159, where she tells him off for talking down his work.
{3}: In #164, where she's ignored Mami & Asako off-strip.
{4}: In #49.
{5}: In #195.
{6}: Do you really need a URL for this?
{7}: Warmth: #177.
{8}: #195 (see above), or at Fredart.
{9}: The game, too.
{0}: This depends, of course, on if the silicon says Intel or AMD.
In her room she ponders what went before.
No one understands what was in her mind.
Her thoughts in turmoil behind her closed door.
Her one-time good friends - could they be more blind?

Brushing her hair with wild furious strokes,
she replays that breakfast in her mind's eye.
Her parents looked worried; clueless old folks.
"I'm NOT sick! Let me be! Don't ask me why!"

When at last she worked up the nerve to ask
that gaijin too, did not understand.
He stuttered, he paused, his face a blank mask,
Insulted the art she'd carefully scanned.

She only cares for his art, only that!
Even to her, this deception falls flat.
feel the yearning

for lips on your own
that will taste of your sorrow
and then revere it;

for mature peers
that will not mock your desire
to return sketchbooks*;

for a better family:
for an uglier mother
and a father with a job
where he's your hero,
and not anyone else's;

for the time and the room
and a place and a space
for the learning of love;

for the map and the treasure
or just even the pleasure
of erasing a dragon there.

I f33l your yearning
and I fear for your learning
which dragons be where.


* Sorry, couldn't resist.

[Editorially, I have two notes to make: first, I don't think the last stanza says quite what it should; and second, I think 'f33l the yearning' is a good 'slogan' for Yuki. Let me know...]

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