[Outside Hut]
Seraphim: He'll be a bit sluggish for a while, don't expect much for at least 30 minutes.
Erika: Are there any other pills or potions we have to give him?
Seraphim: No, you don't have to worry about that. Something else the author decided to gloss over. He should be almost fully recovered in two or three scenes.
Erika: That fast? Well, good. No need getting bogged-down in semi-plausible explanations.
Seraphim: Exactly.
Erika: Sorry I can't pay you right now. Maybe I can steal a few things from the castle...
Seraphim: Oh, this one's on me. Just be sure to get the Prince really, really mad.
Erika: Thank you, again. Good-bye.
(exit Erika, Largo, Piro)
Seraphim: Buh-bye! Sayonara! Ganbatte ne and Give 'em hell!


[Castle Wall]
Erika: Fourteen... seventeen... Looks like about twenty guards.
Largo: We're outnumbered. I like our chances.
Piro: (groans)
Erika: He's waking up, good.
Piro: Ugh... Wha? Who? How? Huh?
Erika: Okay, now that you're all caught up we can start the attack.
Piro: I can't move my legs.
Erika: Don't overstress yourself. You've only just been recently dead.
Piro: Oh yeah, that.
Erika: There are twenty guards at the gate. Any ideas?
Largo: I need a beer.
Piro: Are you here too?
Erika: Here. I swiped it from the miracle worker's hut.
(hands Largo a flask)
Piro: We'll need a distraction.
Erika: Let's see... I think I have some flash grenades around here somewhere...
Largo: pH33R!!!
(He leaps over the wall and charges the gate)
Erika: Uh...
(Largo is being pounded on by the guards. Suddenly a cry of "FIRE!" goes up. The guards look and see that their barracks are ablaze. They quickly abandon the fight and run to rescue their valuables/porn.)
(Erika steps out of the shadows with Piro)
Largo: d00d... You're walking.
Piro: I'm a fast healer.
Erika: Let's go.

[Hallway]
Piro: The Princess. I must find the Princess.
Erika: The wedding is in less than an hour. I suspect the chapel would be in the east wing.
(Miho appears ahead of them)
Miho: Oh, it's you.
Largo: 3v1l!
(Erika leans Piro against a wall then prepares to fight)
Miho: Guards! I don't know what you fools intend to do here, but I will enjoy stopping you.
(Largo notices her hands)
Largo: You have three thumbs! And you're a chick!
Miho: How nice of you to notice.
Largo: My father was 0wnz3d by a GIRL!!
Miho: What is he babbling about?
Largo: You cheated my father then defeated him at Tekken 2.
Miho: I have defeated many men. Who are you, and why should I care?
Largo: My name is Largo. You 0wnz3r3d my father. Prepare to d13!!!
Miho: This is bothersome. Guards, kill them.
(exit Miho)
(Largo and Erika a outnumbered but not out-skilled. Largo makes short work of his attackers then runs off down the hallway)
Erika: Largo-kun! Wait... damn him.
(Erika finishes off her attackers)
Erika: (to Piro) Come on, let's go find the Princess.


[Kitchen]
(Largo comes running full-speed down the staircase. Miho is standing at the other side of the room)
Largo: My name is Largo. You 0wnz3r3d my father. Prepare to d13!
Miho: Shit.
(Miho waves her hand and a number of pots and pans tumble off a shelf onto Largo. He shoves them aside then charges across the room. Miho sends a flurry of knives at him. He jumps to avoid them. Suddenly, time slows down and Largo is suspended in mid-air, Matrix-like. Miho leaps towards him. Largo grabs her arms and they struggle for a minute before Miho finally breaks free. Largo swings at her, but Miho catches his fist. She uses it for balance as she kicks at his head. Largo dodges, but is hit in the back. When he looks up there are a three metal sheets are flying towards him. He ducks and one of them hits him on the shoulder, opening a large gash. Miho claps her hands together and a wave of energy shoots out, hitting Largo in the abdomen. He doubles over in pain as Miho stands above him. She raises her hand.)
Miho: Begone, pest.
(She brings her hand down. Largo rolls away at the last instant. He struggles to his feet.)
Largo: My name is Largo. You 0wnz3r3d my father. Prepare to d13!
Miho: I heard you the first time.
(Miho strikes again. Largo dodges again.)
Largo: My name is LARGO! j00 0wnz3r3d my f4th3r! PR3P4R23 T0 D13!!!
Miho: What is wrong with you?!
(Miho brings her hands together and thrusts at Largo. He leaps up over her head. She flies after him, but he reverses and slips below her.)
Miho: You should be honored. Very few people ever see my true power... and none of them live.
(Miho flies down at Largo, a tremendous surge of energy builds up in front of her. Suddenly, Largo pulls out a sword and thrusts it at Miho. She cannot avoid it and merely gasps in amazement as she is impaled on the steel. Largo leans into her face.)
Largo: I 0wnz j00.
(Miho dies)


[Hallway]
(Kimiko is walking in the hallway outside of her bedroom. She sees Erika.)
Erika: Good evening, Princess.
Kimiko: You! What... What are you doing here?
Erika: I understand that our last meeting was less than pleasant, and I can't guarantee this will be any better. But I have brought a friend.
(she moves so Kimiko can see Piro)
Piro: Hi.
Kimiko: You'd better come into my room.

[Kimiko's Bedroom]
Kimiko: You look injured. Do you need a doctor?
Piro: No, thank you. Just had a little bought of the death, nothing I can't handle.
Kimiko: Oh. (pause) I guess you're here to stop my wedding. Well you're too late.
Piro: You didn't?
Kimiko: No, not that. I mean, I've already decided to call it off. And yes, it's because of you. Everyone in this castle is a liar, or a murderer, or a thief. But you reminded me that there are honest, decent people in the world. I couldn't live with these people after having met you.
Piro: So will you leave with us.
Kimiko: Yes, yes I will.
(enter Largo)
Largo: Oh, here you all are.
Erika: What about the Prince? I've come here to kill him.
Kimiko: No, please. No more killing.
Erika: Well someone should, don't you think he deserves it?
Kimiko: Well sure, I guess he does. But that doesn't make it right. There are better ways to live your life than through violence.
Piro: Princess...
Kimiko: Don't call me that.
Piro: I'm sorry. Kimiko, we should go now. The guards will be here soon.
Kimiko: Yes, let's go. What's wrong with your friend? He looks sad.
Piro: Largo, you okay?
Largo: j0
Piro: He'll be fine. Come on.
(exit Piro, Kimiko, Erika, Largo)

(enter Ed)
Ed: Princess, it's time for... Princess? Hello? Where did she go? And what's this pink, heart-shaped thing?


[Outside]
Kimiko: Thank you for coming to rescue me. It was very, very brave of you all.
Piro: So Largo, you've had your revenge, what now?
Largo: Dunno, never really thought about what would happen afterwards.
Piro: I hear there's a position opening up for a pirate, I could put in a good word for you.
Largo: Pirating is c00l.
Kimiko: And you, Erika? Are you still going to be an assassin?
Erika: No, I think I'll get away from that. I'm going to do some travelling, look into those "better ways" you talked about.
Kimiko: I'm glad.
Piro: And I'm glad too.
(Piro and Kimiko kiss)

(Seraphim watches them from the top of a hill)
Seraphim: *sniff* And they all lived happily ever after. The end.

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